I feel so much like this. I don't understand how he could just turn his back on me. I really just want to be able to say he isn't worth this. He isn't worth the pain and the anger and the resentment. But I can't. It has only been 15 days but it seems like an eternity to me. I don't understand how he could be in love with me one day and completely turn his back on me the next. I feel like the only conclusion to reach is that he is a heartless jerk. But if that were the case, why do I want him back so badly?

Wow, you are going through a lot right now. I'm sorry. You ask why, but nobody can tell you but him. Does he have any mental issues? Is he an addict? You may want to consider a counselor for this one. Would you even let him back after he did this to you? Again, I'm sorry.

Nobody can tell you why. I'm sorry....

I can understand. My stbx wife admitted to affairs twice, left twice and came back before ultimately having yet another affair and leaving for good-after 23 years. I am devastated and don't know why-just like you. These are ultimately people with no soul, no ability to sacrifice themselves for others. Which means they will never be able to give and receive true love-or make a true commitment. It hurts now and will hurt for awhile but eventually we will all get through it. Much more strong and healthy. They, on the other hand, must live with their betrayal forever.

morris,

This really hurts. I can relate. Eventually the pain will fade. I went through the same thing. She never did call... And, now, I never want her to. It will take time. Just know it's natural. Every time the phone rings these next few months, you'll always have that silent hope. It too will pass.

Lots of hugs! Sorry you have to be here.

Pick up some good self help books.

BC

I am so sorry you are going through this and without closure, it seems even worse. While it may seem like the easiest thing to to is try to figure out why he is acting this way, the best thing to do is focus on yourself. Easier said than done, I know. I obsess constantly over my ex and his actions, or what he is doing when he isn't calling and I thought I had moved on. It is a long process and sometimes there are setbacks. Even if you did hear from him, you may not like what you hear, so I suggest working on making yourself stronger, counseling may help. Good luck to you.......

Oh man, morris and z1212chick, I could have written your posts. The person I knew as my husband up until just over 3 weeks ago seems to have disappeared. I don't know who he is anymore and cannot understand how he has just cut himself off from the life we built together for 12 years and his 4 children. When I do see him, it's like I'm living in an alternate universe or something. It's like nothing I could have imagined.

I've spent so much time trying to psychoanalyze him these past few weeks, and while some of my thoughts may be correct, I may never really know the answers. And even if I do, I can't imagine they will be good enough for me to feel any better about what he's done.

God knows I wish I had the answers, for all of us. The amount of pain caused by these spouses and divorce is unbelievable, yet every day it happens again and again. The way people continue to hurt one another is just evil, pure and simple.

no explanation anyone can give you

mine walked out after 33 yrs on xmas eve 07

all you can do is work on yourself and starting marching forward

its hard reallllllllllllllllllllllllllly hard, wont kid ya on that one, but we'll help ya

im just so dam dam damn sorry