Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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How do you stay focused through all the tears?

AClaire80
AClaire80

My husband & I have been walking a fine line between staying miserable ever after or divorce. 


It's a vicious cycle that starts with a fight, go for weeks with little to no contact, then me becoming so overcome with emotion that I practically beg him to stay. In the beginning of these episodes, I'm always confident in my decision, & do my best to stick with it. But, then 2-3 weeks in, I am so weepy, & emotional. I think about all the good times we've shared, & little things about him I'm going to miss. It overwhelms me, & then I become less confident in my decision, & start to question what it is I truly want. I feel so weak during this time, & don't know how to get through it. Why does this happen? Why do I let it happen? 


Divorce is the best thing for us. It needs to happen. How do I use that to get me through the tearful stage, which I have again, just entered? 


Will I ever be strong enough to follow through with my decision?

SoLostandHopeless
SoLostandHopeless
One day at a time, or hour by hour, stay strong
cleigh
cleigh
I would seek help from a professional in this matter. You sound too conflicted at this time and whichever decision you make, I think, you will forever second guess yourself. If your husband is agreeable, I would see either marriage counseling or a certified Relationship Coach (do a google search). If your husband doesn't want to engage in any kind of counseling, you should seek a Life Coach for yourself. Your statement "what it is I truly want", is exactly what life coaches address. They won't tell you what to do, they will guide you to find the answer within you so you will be at peace with whatever decision you make.
mirandac
mirandac
I would seek therapy to help you and to talk it
out and come to terms with what you need. I
Was in alanon and therapy for 2 years before
we actually separated. I Was then a lot stronger.

Divorce care.org helps a lot with the grieving and
The divorce process.

My emotional self still is not rational or sane About
my ex. The longer you can go without seeing him the
Easier it is to emotionally detach from him. HUGS
AClaire80
AClaire80
He won't do counseling, couples or for himself. I'm in therapy, it helps a little. My husband & I were attempting to work some stuff out, but obviously that didn't work, so I'm back to square 1. I just want to get past this "blue" period.
ZenOne
ZenOne
I'm going through the same thing. Have been for the past 3 1/2 years. I caught my husband cheating on me in July 2013. Moved out May 2014 but we have been trying to reconcile ever since I moved out. During that time he has cheated with at least 2 more women. I'm sure there are others. I would stop seeing him. Then go back. Over and over. Like you, I felt strong in my decision for a few days. Then panic, fear and loneliness would set in and I would find a way to get back with him. Every time at the expense of my values and self-esteem. These past 3 1/2 years have been filled with so much pain. I caught him cheating yet again this past weekend. I actually caught the woman in his bedroom. Granted they were both clothed, sitting on the bed, watching football, but it was only because I caught them early. Long story short, today I realized that no matter how much it scares me, how much it hurts, I can't continue to live this way. Believe it or not, I love my husband and I think he loves me. We just don't work together. Tonight I told him I no longer want to be in the marriage. I am in tears. I hurt so badly. I'm so afraid. But...I am determined to love myself more than I ever have and stop this cycle of pain, for both of us. We have both been weak. It's up to me to be strong.
I feel your pain. There is no easy way to get through it. If you can, see a therapist. Talk to your minister if you have one. Lean on your friends and family for support. Getting through this won't be easy but it's possible.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you the very best.