Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It's been 30 days since my ex-fiance boarded a airport shuttle van, was whisked away to the airport and flew back home to Ohio to be back with her parents.
Since then I've had some bad days, tough nights, some good days, but today I'm having a real hard time keeping my thoughts on me, on my life, on my recovery, on my future. I'm having a very hard time with thinking about my ex-fiance, kind of wondering at times on how she might be doing, wondering what she might be doing, wondering where she's at, that sort of stuff, just having a hard time keeping my thoughts just focused on me.
It's kind of driving me nuts! My mind tells my heart there's no way to know any of it, we went "no contact" back on August 7th, but my heart convinces my mind to fire up its imagination and in the minds eye trying to see her and wonder why she is doing. I know what I'm doing is wrong, I know it's driving me nuts, I know my ex-fiance made the foolish choice to leave and it's not my job anymore to worry about how she's doing and what she's doing, today my mind is just having a hard time dealing with that it's not my job anymore!
When does this way of thinking get better? I know due to way she left and due to some nasty things she did to end things, I shouldn't be concerned with such thoughts of care or concern, but today it's just real hard to deal with.
Since then I've had some bad days, tough nights, some good days, but today I'm having a real hard time keeping my thoughts on me, on my life, on my recovery, on my future. I'm having a very hard time with thinking about my ex-fiance, kind of wondering at times on how she might be doing, wondering what she might be doing, wondering where she's at, that sort of stuff, just having a hard time keeping my thoughts just focused on me.
It's kind of driving me nuts! My mind tells my heart there's no way to know any of it, we went "no contact" back on August 7th, but my heart convinces my mind to fire up its imagination and in the minds eye trying to see her and wonder why she is doing. I know what I'm doing is wrong, I know it's driving me nuts, I know my ex-fiance made the foolish choice to leave and it's not my job anymore to worry about how she's doing and what she's doing, today my mind is just having a hard time dealing with that it's not my job anymore!
When does this way of thinking get better? I know due to way she left and due to some nasty things she did to end things, I shouldn't be concerned with such thoughts of care or concern, but today it's just real hard to deal with.
BUT, it is getting better. the thoughts seem to come less often. I am able to push them off more easily, most days. I am learning to redirect my thoughts, appreciate myself, care for myself. it is a process, like the healing of a deep wound. it won't happen right away, and it won't be easy. but i promise you, if you continue to be gentle with yourself, it will get easier. as you well know, coming here is helpful. letting others know when you are having a hard time can ease it, or at least that's how it has been for me. you are stronger than you realize. it's just very early in the process yet for you, but you are taking positive steps.
i read this yesterday, and it seems to be helping me, for now:
"don't look back. you're not going that way."
easier said than done, i know, but in a lot of ways, this makes sense to me. BIg big hugs to you!