Only you can say, I mean these are your values that we’re discussing here. That respect that you have a very individual thing. But I get what you mean of that feeling of BOOM the one!!! Only you will know how right or wrong your choice will ultimately be, it’s the big and small things that matter give both their just due of attention. Tap your heels together three times and say there’s no place like home....

Thanks for your reply Ghostdancer. I am tapping my heels...

is there something in your past that has you doubting the sincerity of another? could it be what holds you back? or is there perhaps something to your intuition?

Sjs777- yes. My parents are very unhappily married. Growing up their marriage was horrible & myself and my sisters had to witness and be subject to their dysfunction and the verbal and physical abuse of my mother. I feel like the stats are way too high for divorce and cheating. It doesn't give me much faith that the love will last forever or when you start adding life stressors and children into it the love will die. :(

the answer is that any relationship takes work, sadly many never learn that nor do they learn how to go about it. there are great resources out there, some I've noted in my journals but by no means is it extensive. as for your parents struggles, look to grow above it as opposed to succumbing to their fate. Im always open to talk and here if you need a caring ear

Also remember we are not perfect.

I think with the right person, you won't run away, there won't be lots of reasons to question. Trust yourself, you probably know more then you think. The truth is the divorce rate is 53 percent and 70% for the second marriage. But who cares, we live longer now so we grow and change and perhpas are not meant to be with just one person for all those decades.

Fear of commitment is a real struggle. No one is going to be perfect. Marriage is going to be work--even with someone who is very realized in life. The important thing to remember is that making a marriage work is a choice everyday. You are not always going to "feel" love. Some days, you're gonna have to choose to love the other person.

Whattodo- I'd love to say I surround myself around healthy relationships/marriages, but I only have one good example of many friends. That low success also contributing to my nervousness about commitment. I have been around the success story more in the last couple
Months and realize it isn't as "dreamy" as I thought (Moving away will hide those details) but still very functional and full of love. After everyone's advice on here I am realizing that there is no Hollywood marriage and it does take a lot of work and compromise on both ends. I always thought if it was meant to be all the pieces would match wonderfully and people wouldnt have to give much up. You'd always be on the same page, same step in life or at least have open communication to get there. . I was afraid my partner of choosing would resent me later if he did give stuff up for me.
It's interesting you mention needing our parents approval. Before I found this site I realized that I think a lot of my lack of commitment is fear my parents won't approve... and so that makes me looking for Mr. Perfect in my fathers eye who sets the bar so high and my mother who never supported me in anything or had anything good to say about anyone. It's weird how we spend our life running from the past yet apparently gravitating back to it in ways. I don't get it. Thanks for your help.