Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I cannot let go of my ex boyfriend. I feel like it's all my fault because I pushed him away. I pushed him into physically abusing me. After that he broke up with me. Even after I stayed and tried to work through it. I was too dependent and emotional due to finances. He broke up with me and kicked me out of his house and life just like that. Said he can't live with a woman and that his life was a mess. I've done everything to show him that I agreed with the separation and it's been 3 months and he still wont give us a second chance and I am completely devastated as ALL my hopes and dreams have been shattered. I love this man and fully believe we can work. He's very disconnected. I cannot move on. I'm still crying daily. Severely depressed. Bettered myself by getting a great job and put a deposit on a room to rent. But, I'm not happy. I cannot just "be happy" please help.
How is it your fault that your ex abused you? How is it your fault that he chose to not be with you anymore? There is no excuse for a man to put his hands on a woman!! NO EXCUSE!
YOU CAN BE HAPPY!! You deserve this and you don't need another person to do this for you!
Positive thoughts produce positive results! Start speaking positive into your life...even if you start out repeating the same things!! Stop thinking about the past and look to your future!! Step out of your comfort zone and do something you use to enjoy or find something new. Stop waiting for your ex to take you back! LIVE LIFE!! Learn to smile again and Learn to LOVE yourself!
Thank you for reaching out to me. I see a therapist weekly and a psychiatrist every 2 weeks now. I have one friend who I can talk to on the phone. I have no other support. I understand that I cannot expect anyone to "make me happy" However, I have never done well being alone. This was the first real relationship I had in many years. I'm 45yrs old. Never had a family. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for many years. I fell into my depression because I wasn't working. I pushed him away from me because of it. This is why it's my fault because no matter what he did to try to make me happy, he felt it wasn't good enough, Meanwhile, the reason I was so unhappy was because I had become dependent on him. I pushed him to the point of exploding on me.
I simply cannot just "make myself happy". I have since in the past 3 months gotten a great job and put a deposit on renting a room because that's all I can afford. However what I am making would be enough to live with him again. Where I live the rent for anywhere is based upon 2 incomes. I helped him get the mortgage on our dream home that I just found out he got. I brought home a kitten that he is keeping. I helped him start a 2nd business. I am left alone with nothing, and even though I have a good job and found a place to rent (Not a Home) I'm not happy because I cannot handle being alone. Every time I try to think "positive" my mind goes negative. I don't know how to shut this off. I don't know how to move on. I don't know how nor do I want to let go. I have hope ( although I think it's false hope) I've even tried praying again. I feel like if this is what God or the Universe has for my life I want no part of it. This is not how or where I want to be in life. I'm getting older and desperately need companionship. Cant stop crying
Please, keep in mind- no matter what it is you were going through, it doesn't justify him being physically, verbally, emotionally abusive to you or anyone. You need to stop blaming yourself!
That is sooooo wonderful that you found a great job and have the deposit to rent a room!! My hubby is looking into renting a room, too when we separate.
I'm 41 and I've never really been alone either but I have A LOT of issues that stem from my childhood that I need to address so while my hubby and I are separated I plan to work on myself. I've been with my hubby since I was 15.
Baby steps! Take baby steps! Remind yourself of the great job you have, the new place in the works... I don't know you but think of the good things... I'll share with you what I say to myself- "I'm blessed, I have a roof over my head, I have a job, I have food in my belly, a bed to sleep in, a car to drive, my health, eyes to see, hands to use, feet to walk with, arms to hold my kitty or hug my kids, a nose to smell with, a mouth to speak...." if I run out of things than I repeat the list again. When I catch myself focusing on the negative then I just keep repeating my list.
I believe in God and I have found a church that I attend regularly. I began counseling with my new Pastor and I found a support group called Celebrate Recovery (located all over the US) that I use to attend weekly and plan to start back up again. I downloaded the YouVersion Bible app on my phone and I study some Bible Plans every morning and some evenings. I recently joined a walking group that starts meeting on Tuesdays.
I am here if you ever want to vent or share. You can send me a private message. I wish you all the best and I will keep you in my prayers!!
@RossHomes thank you. I will look into it.
are a lot of people who have felt the same way. Myself included.The book really opened my eyes...
It is NOT your fault! I know it is painful right now, but time heals all wounds and you deserve better!
You deserve to be loved and treated like a princess and the right person is out there for you.