Without knowing why you want to leave...
When you've given all you have to give
And done everything you can to make it work,,believe me you will know.

I am not the one that wants/wanted out. I get very confused by things my wife says and does. It seems sometimes she wants to really try and others she’s just done. It is so hard to keep going like that.

I can't keep going like that, either. I'm in that same sinking boat right this very moment. Same question I am asking myself. And I have no answer...because up until this week I kept trying to salvage it because I don't want to let go of our dreams together. I am realizing now, I have given it my all and that 100% on my part cannot fix it. It takes both people. I have a clear conscience. Well, I am upset I have wasted so much of my time trying to make this work, but to stay positive..at least I know I have given my everything. So, I guess what I am saying is I think you know when you have given your ALL, but she just can't. It's the hardest thing in the world to admit to yourself. But I finally have admitted that to myself and put it out there in the universe. You have to feel it, to heal it. Sorry you are also walking through Hell. Hopefully, we will find our way out one day.

That means a lot......I’m not done fighting yet. I have always fought for that woman, and right now my feeling is that until I’m dead, I’m not done fighting. I don’t know. One day I’m ready to keep going and going and going, other days, it’s definitely more difficult. Sounds like you know exactly what I am saying.

Fight as long and hard as you can. I respect that. I have done the same. In my case, he seems to recognize that effort and it kept us hobbling along for a very long time...but it can't sustain a healthy relationship in the long run. I am just now coming to that conclusion. I wish I could fix everything by myself. I wish you the very best. It is a respectable quality to love someone that much to give it everything you've got. If only my husband was wired that way.

I had another gent on here with the handle refurb that helped me just have a total epiphany in the way he said something so clearly and simply. You are clearly are all in and you want that to be enough. But she isn't. This smart fellow on here just said that to me and I had to add it to my bio.... because out of EVERYTHING I have read this last few days...that is IT in a nutshell. Almost like the, "He's just not that into you." Except better for my situation is "He's not all in." That is the struggle. I want him to be, but because he isn't we keep ending back at this square one over and over again. Either we sweep things under the rug (which I don't know at this point is even an option, but it is what we have always done in the past) and I readjust my expectations for ever feeling happy, secure, loved in this relationship...or I realize once and for all... "He's not ALL in". Their actions speak for themselves. And indecision is an action. It means they are not all in, as we are. Thought I would share. That is how I know it's over. I know in my heart he isn't all in. I am, he's not. Its going to take me a long time to get past it.

Overcoming,
I’m sure A LOT of folks say what I am about to, but I’ll say it anyway, our situation is unique, maybe I’m off base here but it’s what I feel. There’s a lot to it too, which is one of the main reasons that I’m saying what I’m saying.

@OvercomingFear - I liked what you had to say, from a woman's perspective, or heart. It made me see it as if my GF was saying it, applying your words to myself, her breaking up with me...and I realize where I fall short. I know now what I must do. Thank you.