Bar scene isn't for me either. I think it just takes time.

you can do this.....have you thought about volunteering at some places near you? What activities do you enjoy doing? Maybe you can start doing those again and get to know some nice ladies that way.

You have it in you to do this.....just take it slow and remember how you approached ladies before. What topics interest you? What do you like to do? Find some things in common with the women you find interesting on the dating sites you look at.

gettingitstraight.....YOU CAN DO THIS. Write a list of all of the great qualities and personal attributes you have. I bet you have many......someone will come along. I would bet on it.

It seems that online dating is the new way and Okcupid is a good one to try IMHO.

Having been married for so long myself I felt like an eunuch as I hadn't related to females in that way for such a long time. I had friendships with women but even those were limited.

When the divorce hit many of my female coworkers united in a campaign to "get me some game"

Just don't let your ex see you succeed despite that natural feeling - wait till the papers are finalized.

Also know that you are going to feel incredibly awkward and may have to fine tune your profile to get responses,

The best way of learning about jumping back in is to research all you can on the Internet.

"Fall, fall again better next time." Beckett


Don't be afraid to fall and just keep it up. Also seeing a therapist may be helpful as you can explore your mixed emotions.

It was so helpful to get out and learn "game" - I'm not all that it is no longer a concern.

I discovered that having a meaningful relationship wasn't an option as I'm struggling over custody .

You also want to be honest with your date to avoid feeling like a snake. Obtaining joy at another's expense isn't a good way to start your new road.

Telling them everything is never a good idea.

I saw it as a practice job interview.


Ah few tips -

1) On the first date have them pick a time and location for drinks. This is a safe practice.

2) Keep the first date simple and avoid coffee dates (non romantic) also avoid dinner dates (expensive and often fail). If you meet for drinks and things are going well you can suggest getting something to eat.

3) Assert yourself and call the shots when appropriate. Be a gentleman and act interested in a way that doesn't put you into the friend category.

I have so much to say on this subject.

All relationships should be based on friendships but dating involves conducting yourself in a different way. It is like an interview and with that in mind be ready, ask her questions, show your bright side. I can't stress enough how empowering this difficult process can be.

With the divorce rate at 50% it makes sense that the dating scene is so active. You will find so many in very much the same position.

#1 - Invent a better you and this takes work. I'm not suggesting being phony but this is the time. It is an opportunity to improve who you are.

On the Internet dating you have to standout!!

Do your homework and learn to fall !

Best to ya and I hope it helps

I've been doing internet dating. It can work, but I dont think its working for me. what can you do? Get out and about doing things you like. Volunteer with your local humane society. Join a bowling league. Join a church that has activities for people your age. Take a night class in something that interests you. Join a drama club or anything in your area that interests you. Being with a group of people who have a similar interest breaks the ice. We are never more attractive to others than when we are out and about doing things...

Have you tried any meetup groups?
I have found they are a good way to get practiced at hanging out with people and getting comfortable with who you are and how to relate to others.
In my area there are plenty of different meetup groups of all types and so you can pick and choose as to what interests you, and then you get to meet people who have similar interests as you.
I have made some great new friends through them. You go to meetup.com and create an account and profile and then start selecting groups that you think might interest you.

I don't think you are ready truthfully. Just going off your posts, esp. the more recent ones.

But to help you get to feeling better, you need to get out. You can't do what you are wanting to or needing by not going out and about. Don't have to go to bars or clubs, there are plenty of other ways. Mostly, getting involved in a group or hobby you like.

You know when someone drops something my first instinct is to catch it or pick it up and I find that when someone drops all of the pieces of who you once were as a whole its hard to figure who you are as someone on your own and I think once you find out what you are interested in as the new single person you will come to naturally go where it leads you. But you have to explore you and what you want to make out of the fragmented pieces of yourself.