Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My ex husband and I broke up 4yrs ago. We have 7 children together and he walked out saying he hadn't loved me for the last 5 yrs of our marriage. He was an alcholic and a dope smoker and it took him away from us. I was frustrated but I was devastated as we were so close once and the best of friends. Anyway 4yrs on I'm still in love with him. There's no chance of reconciliation as he's remarried. He got engaged as soon as the ink was dry on the divorce papers and was married 6 months later. I just can't get over him. I've tried to date other men but it just feels weird like I'm cheating. How dumb is that. I mean I have dated heaps of guys and none of them interest me as it doesn't feel right. I don't know how to move on. I put my ex first most of my married life and I'm still doing it and can't seem to stop. I have tried everything, distancing myself as much as I can, although we still have to talk regarding the children. It would be a lot easier if I didn't have to see him anymore or talk to him or have the constant reminder that he is my children's father but anyway it is what it is. I've tried hypnosis and counselling it works for a little while like a few days but then I just find myself missing my ex husband again. No matter what I do he's never far from my mind. We were just the best of friends and had so much in common with each other. Well he was my best friend but clearly I wasn't his as he blamed me for his drinking and his drug taking. He is the first man I have ever truly given my heart and soul to. We worked together before we dated so I knew him for 18 months before we went out on a date and we knew each other really well. I just cant see myself ever finding love like that again. I really miss him. How do I put him behind me and move on.
i try to focus on what is good for me and those around me. if i can put my heart in the right place and wish everyone well, including the ex, that makes it simpler. my heart will still miss her but i am not feeling a bunch of contradictory feelings of good and bad at the same time. that just runs me down too much.
i have noticed that if i am not very physically healthy, then my mind and emotions have to work harder to make up for the difference. the more common sense that i use in taking care of my body, the easier it is on the emotions and mind. so, i would start there: eat well, sleep regularly, and exercise in fun ways to build your strength back up.
next, we have to look at our present lives and make a decent social life. we can't just work and come home. we are human and have to be around people and having some fun. just being around other people doing their thing is very good for someone grieving.
lastly, sometimes, it is good to just sit alone in the quiet. do that and picture all of us here on DS smiling at you and wishing you well from the bottom of our hearts. we care about you. we listen. we know the pain. we want you to keep being the good person that you are and to get your strength back up again. sometimes, if we don't ever stop, we never let it sink in that so many people that barely know us, genuinely care about us and we have to open our hearts to feel the love. we are too used to walling our hearts off that it becomes second nature.
good luck and trust in life. you will be fine. :)