Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
This question is for everyone that is unfortunetly dealing with this. How do you get over your spouse being with someone else? If you are going through a separation or divorce and know your spouse or soon to be ex is with someone else, whether it was an affair or happened after you separated, how do you get over that? Especially if you still love or care for that person, how are you personally dealing with them moving on and you still being where you are. I have no concrete evidence that my soon to be x husband cheated, or is with anyone right now, but I've heard things from other people. That thought, of being replaced, it's impossible for me to deal with. The cheating is one thing, the being replaced so quickly in a relationship is another, and maybe the fact they are living together? After only 5 weeks us being separated? So I ask anyone who has or is going through it, how are you getting over it? How have you dealt with the sadness? Do you still love your ex or does/ has it gone away?
Already looking for a replacement whether it ever
Got physical or not so don't fool yourself. My ex had
His all ready and waiting before asking for a divorce.
None of this stuff is easy add in rejection, infidelity
and betrayal It adds more layers of muck to move
thru and cope with during separation and divorce.
HUGS
You. Are. Not. Alone.
Benefit from those who have come before you.
Once I stopped feeling the victim, I realized that he's a piece of shit. Anyone who moves on that fast was looking for it already before you were clued in, whether anything 'actually' happened (probably/usually) or not. They are just good at hiding it sometimes. Also, anyone who moves on that fast either already gave up a long time ago and therefore already had closure on it; and/or is jumping right into something because they can't stand to be alone. Not because the new thing is "the real thing." Any normal healthy person needs time to grieve and process such a huge loss. Jumping right in with someone new is a sure sign that they are just running from their problems, and it's extremely unhealthy.
Once I got some perspective that 1) he's a cheating A-hole 2) I deserve more 3) he is miserable and will glom onto anything to avoid that, I felt much better. I deserve better. And so do you.
(((HUGS)))
Each day hundreds of men and women seek revenge on their ex-mates for a
variety of reasons, usually because they got dumped or where cheated on.
Revenge comes in many ways. It typically starts by using social media to
vent, and then escalates from there. Now sites like "Get Revenge On Your Ex"
for a fee will help you get pay back or revenge.
So what is the best way to get revenge besides slashing her tires, posting
nude photos of her and so on.
The best way according to the web site Right Choices 101 is to live your
life well. This is true no matter who you are seeking revenge on. Coworkers,
past bosses, bad friends or ex-lovers. Put your energy into succeeding and
enjoying your life, not wasting your time, energy and resources on revenge
that can end up costing you much more. Plus, when you seek revenge, you send
them a massage that you have not gotten over the relationship. It's much
better to show you are indifferent and don't care.
According to Kenneth Agee of A Foreign Affair, a service that specializes in
helping men find young beautiful foreign women, "The best revenge is to date
or marry a women 10 years younger than your ex. This will piss her off to no
end. No woman ever wants to be replaced with a younger, more attractive
woman. Just like a man never likes to get replaced by a guy who is wealthier
or more successful.
I will never forget one of my first clients we took to Saint Petersburg,
Russia." says Agee, "The client told me that two days on our tour was better
than two years of therapy. Having hundreds of attractive women fighting over
you gets your ex out of your mind pretty quick.
I personally went through break up when my ex ran off with another man. But
a short time later, I met a new lady who was ten times better. I ran into
that man who stole my ex and I gave him a big thanks. In fact, I could not
thank him enough. He was stuck with an older nagging women, while I was now
with a young, beautiful, caring women. Plus, my ex had gained about 100
pounds. I don't look at that fellow as any kind of enemy but as the person
who saved me from my ex and years of suffering." This is the best a revenge
when you win without lowering yourself.
Other sites like "Get Over Her Now" give practical advice and tips for
getting over a past relationship.
Top Tips from Get Over Her Now:
Start making platonic relationships with as many women as possible, old,
young, skinny, fat, cute or ugly. This greatly helps you get back in the
game of socializing with the opposite sex. And it opens up lots
opportunities to meet their cute attractive friends in a more relaxed
environment. This also helps you build your game and confidence.
Improve yourself, start working out, get up early every day and exercise.
Buy new clothes. Dressing better makes you feel better and improves your
confidence.
Focus on work and getting a promotion or raise. Don't let a break up effect
your work negatively. Put that extra effort into work and it will pay off
with a better position and more money. This will also build your confidence
and help attract better quality women.
Any time you are depressed, improving yourself helps greatly. When you feel
depressed, don't sit and watch TV and then sleep-in late. Get out and do
something that will make you feel like you've accomplished something. Take a
class, go hiking, fix something you've been putting off.
Don't start drinking. Drinking will always have a negative impact on your
life. Don't drink while depressed or when you are trying to get over some
one. After all, drinking is for celebrating. So if you are not celebrating
something, don't drink. A quality women is not going to be attracted to
someone who drinks a lot or has a drinking problem.
Don't sleep in; sleeping late increases depression. Get up as early as you
can and go for a walk, take a hike, or go to the Gym. Research shows getting
up early and exercising can eliminate depression. You will have no game be
depressed.
Don't binge eat. If you start gaining weight, you will feel less self-worth
and lose your confidence. Confidence is a quality that women are extremely
attracted to.
Conclusion, the best revenge is when you improve your life so well that she
realizes she made a big mistake. And satisfaction comes when you meet
someone so much better, you are glad the ex is gone. After all, if you are
seeking revenge, how great could she really have been in the first place!
Issues.
I kept looking at how could he have affair after affair and come home to me and our daughter and pretend to be a family man.
I think he did love me at one time, but for the wrong reasons. He's a narrasist and is driven by an insatiable desire to be viewed as a success that is far beyond his accomplishments.
Not only was I "of use" to him, I was the gravy train for a long time. He liked the status and our lifestyle. When I stayed home to. Are for our daughter he became resentful that he needed to be solely responsible for the family income AND (this is important) he couldn't brag about my status in the working world.
In our situation, I was 40 when I had my daughter. He travels for his work almost every week. I couldn't have my career too unless we had a nanny or he took a local territory. He would have been fine about the nanny, but I wasn't about to have someone else raise my child. Financially, we could make it on his income.
I've been through it.. a week and a half after we broke up, he told he is gonna date this other girl (actually there were already close contact between then before we broke up) I was devastated. It was during the period I was trying to salvage our relationship (I mean, how can I not when he's been saying he love me everyday still. Even after break up)
I talked to him one last time before my scheduled week long holiday and he was insistent that he couldn't break another girl's heart like a few days after he start dating her since she is a nice lady and a supportive friend (yea right.. she is trained mistress IMO as she was previously involved with a married man)
After I came back from my trip, i met up with him again (cause he said he missed me) and told him, they both have my blessings. I would very much rather I not get involved in any mess.
It's hard (and even harder for me as he told me he wanted to patch back with me when I'm back), but it's possible.. be the gracious one, whether or not you want a future with him. Let him see the good side of you not the bad. let him know what's he is missing (sorry, i'm a Scorpio, there is a vengeful side in me) **hugs**