Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
There is something that I've been thinking and for the life of me I don't see how I can do this... Okay, this is embarrassing to post so bear with me!!!
A few times my stbx told me that I was ugly and one time he said I repulsed him!!! Each time he did this, of course he was intoxicated and said that he was saying it out of anger and to spite me.
So now, at the end of the day after so many years I think I'm truly ugly! Yeah, I could lose a few pounds, but so could the majority of the world. I'm active enough or as much as I can be working full-time and being the mommy of a four year old running a household!!!!
I can barely look people in the eye sometimes because those thoughts come storming back to me. I'm ugly! Why would they look at me. Why would they talk to me. Our divorce should be final in August of this year and we are trying to remain as amicable as possible for our daughter, but I look at him and suppress my anger for all that he's done to me emotionally and verbally! Thankfully, not physically, but emotional and mental abuse and neglect is enough!!!!
I actually said that he was abusive. He couldn't understand why or what I meant. I told him some things that I thought and he had the cajones to say, that's not abuse that was neglect. Well, being former foster parents one of the lessons we learned was that neglect is a form of abuse. Assdumb!!!
I know I'm an adult, but emotional/mental neglect is a form of abuse as well as the rants and rages that I had to endure along with the humiliation and embarrassment...
Oh, I apologize, I digress!!!! Also, at what point do you determine that you need or should seek some sort of counseling? I fear that I think I can do this on my own, but I'm just not sure that is the healthiest thing.
Aaaggghhhh!!!! Any advice???
A few times my stbx told me that I was ugly and one time he said I repulsed him!!! Each time he did this, of course he was intoxicated and said that he was saying it out of anger and to spite me.
So now, at the end of the day after so many years I think I'm truly ugly! Yeah, I could lose a few pounds, but so could the majority of the world. I'm active enough or as much as I can be working full-time and being the mommy of a four year old running a household!!!!
I can barely look people in the eye sometimes because those thoughts come storming back to me. I'm ugly! Why would they look at me. Why would they talk to me. Our divorce should be final in August of this year and we are trying to remain as amicable as possible for our daughter, but I look at him and suppress my anger for all that he's done to me emotionally and verbally! Thankfully, not physically, but emotional and mental abuse and neglect is enough!!!!
I actually said that he was abusive. He couldn't understand why or what I meant. I told him some things that I thought and he had the cajones to say, that's not abuse that was neglect. Well, being former foster parents one of the lessons we learned was that neglect is a form of abuse. Assdumb!!!
I know I'm an adult, but emotional/mental neglect is a form of abuse as well as the rants and rages that I had to endure along with the humiliation and embarrassment...
Oh, I apologize, I digress!!!! Also, at what point do you determine that you need or should seek some sort of counseling? I fear that I think I can do this on my own, but I'm just not sure that is the healthiest thing.
Aaaggghhhh!!!! Any advice???
Look at it this way, looking across the room, we are first attracted physically, then we venture to get to the personal aspect. (maybe different with internet these days, but you have to meet eventually) He was attracted to you, now it is just his illness. So yes with help here you will realize his spiteful, awful, hurtful words are not who you are at all. By the way counseling does help for most of us.
I need to find the sparkle in my eye that I once had long ago. Once I see that, then I'll know I'm okay.
My stbx does have his own self-esteem issues for sure. I just never put it together that he would take them out on me... someone he is supposed to love and respect.
Boy, what a wake up call this has been. Never again will I fall for anyone like that. I'd rather be alone with my daughter and family.
Thank you again!