I made the same mistake after my divorce. This time after a breakup that left me feeling broken I opted for something different. EXERCISE and creative writing.
Also God. Prayer has helped me out a lot to understand and accept my reality.

I understand it is difficult. But you need to look for outlets that don't make you feel empty and lonely.

Find your own path. Good luck buddy.

Do you have any hobbies, or things you like doing? Have any pets? My dog helped me, and gave me an excuse to get out. The excercise helps. Going to the dog park helped me get out and socialize more. Not to mention just being outside, and getting some vitamin D from the sun helps with depression. But most of all he's a good companion. I would be even more lonely if he wasn't around. He's always happy to see me when I get home. Getting a dog is a huge commitment, and you need to be prepared for it though. I still work too much, but it keeps me stay busy and my mind on something else. Volunteer work is another idea. It feels good to help others.

After I got divorced 6 years ago I had a very busy social life and I started dating. I signed up for meet up group and joined a dating site.
I met some really good people and two of them are still my friends.
You don't have to have sex with women to maintain friendships, just don't get I cocked with the crazies.
Hugs

People deal with things like a breakup differently. They do things some times out of their character and even though its not healthy, many dont' care about themselves during this time. But its the fact that they, or you, recognize the changes of behavior and think to do something about it that matters mostly.

You said it was recent of last year, guessing towards the end of the year? Was it your decision? Mutual? Whenever you feel like sharing whats going on, know you can post to a journal or this thread. Many on this forum have been through or are going through a split. We all have different experiences, but share one common thing, a relationship has ended and we are just trying to put the pieces back together so we can move on and be happy.

Everyone here has a lot of great ideas to be able to filter some of that down time you have. I myself, would just get in the truck with my dog and drive North, South, East or West on my down time days. I can't begin to tell you what a life saver my dog truly has been. If not just for his unconditional love, (unless he gets an attitude cus I'm playing a game), but for seriously being a living and breathing thing that grounded me knowing I needed to be around so to take care of him. He was a rescue dog I found when my ex stole one of the dogs during the breakup. But, and I am sure you have heard this, I am not sure who saved who that day and since. He's my best friend.

Welcome to the group.

My divorce is very soon and I catch myself thinking that only another woman's love can soothe the pain I am going through. I believe this thinking is setting me up for more heartache. Think about it... Are you happy when you are thinking about a potential romantic situation? I am not. I am down or blue or worse. I feel desperate or have low self-esteem. The bar is set low as all I want is to feel loved. Also, what if you were to experience rejection from this new interest? What if you were to find her dating other men? I don't know about you but I'm sensitive enough that it would be a continuation of the same level of pain I feel from my divorce.

On the other hand, when do I feel my best? When I manage that safe zone of not thinking about women at all. This happens when I'm enjoying time with my children or am immersed in some project or relaxation focused on me. House or yard work, exercise, a good book, even some man-movie with gratuitous action and no social redeeming value can do the trick. (Absolutely no romance as that kills it quick for me.)

We are vulnerable right now, and we should tell ourselves that we are moths that need to restrain ourselves from flying to the light which is the flame of women.

Hello,
I separated from my husband about 3 mos ago. It was due to emotional abuse. I was being rejected in every way, verbally attacked, and I felt like he was escalating to physical abuse. So after being treated like this for over a year, I had to do what was best for my well being.
I have started having a closer walk with God. I'm more active with the youth group at my church. I've always wanted to become a motivational speaker, so I have 2 mentors helping me, to hone my skills. I've also became part of a Cryptocurrency business.
Try not to get involved in anything negative. This wont help,definitely in the long run.
Join positive meet ups. Become a Big Brother to a young man. Reach out to young men at the Juvenile Detention Centers. Volunteer.... Work on you.
I know it hurts but during the sad moments of our lives , we must still live life full. Doing constructive things. I love to uplift others, so that is what I put my attention on.
I hope this helps. Don't be defeated No Matter What. You have Greatness in you. Blessings!