Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I could make this post an endless list of accusations towards my ex-boyfriend. He has left me without warning, he didn't care whether I was doing fine or not, he betrayed our love and so on.
But this is not my problem now..I have a bigger rub..One that breaks my heart more than his leaving me..
I remember all my mistakes now. I have forgotten his. I now know what I should have done to make the relationship work. All the fights and endless discussions, reproaches, all that anger...They are back to choke me now..He was always so calm..No, not calm, cool maybe..I may had my reasons. After all, all the accusations were made because i wanted us to spend more time together. But making reproaches wasn't the right way to make him change.
All this guilt stops me from moving forward. I take it as a personal failure maybe, even though I am not that ambitious to succeed.
The hardest part in a relationship is to admit your own guilt and then learn to live with it. Maybe time will make it possible for me to get over it and accept the fact that we were both victims of our incompatibility. He wanted more freedom, I wanted more involvement.
I am asking for some advice...How do I get over the fact I was so bothersome to him, never understanding, always a little angry on the freedoms he took?
Note to self: He acted shitty too.
But this is not my problem now..I have a bigger rub..One that breaks my heart more than his leaving me..
I remember all my mistakes now. I have forgotten his. I now know what I should have done to make the relationship work. All the fights and endless discussions, reproaches, all that anger...They are back to choke me now..He was always so calm..No, not calm, cool maybe..I may had my reasons. After all, all the accusations were made because i wanted us to spend more time together. But making reproaches wasn't the right way to make him change.
All this guilt stops me from moving forward. I take it as a personal failure maybe, even though I am not that ambitious to succeed.
The hardest part in a relationship is to admit your own guilt and then learn to live with it. Maybe time will make it possible for me to get over it and accept the fact that we were both victims of our incompatibility. He wanted more freedom, I wanted more involvement.
I am asking for some advice...How do I get over the fact I was so bothersome to him, never understanding, always a little angry on the freedoms he took?
Note to self: He acted shitty too.
Don't blame yourself for the failure of your relationship with your BF. It takes two to make a relationship work and it doesn't sound like he cared enough to make it work.
It may be hard to imagine right now, but think of what your life could have been like if you would have been married and had children with him.
It seems to me like he actually did you a favor. Your young and have your whole life ahead of you. Have fun, live your life to the fullest. Find someone who will love you back as much as you love them. Don't settle.
in time ( i hate to use the time thing) BUT you will see things more clearly.
I know when "she" first left me, I did nothing but blame myself. I should have taken her to see this show, even though we went a lot of places, I should have done this, or not said it like "that". But as I sat back and really thought about it and was looking for the "truth" I realized that many times the things I did do that might have contributed to the relationship ending, wasnt so much bad stuff, it was just not enough for what she wanted. What she "could" do for me, was not enough of what I wanted in a relationship.
We both really wanted or expected different things from a relationship. I was looking for honesty, communication and trust, she was looking for more of what she wanted when she wanted it.
So try not to look at it as all the things you did wrong, you both just wanted and were looking for different relationships even though you tried to make it work.