Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I was so madly in love with this guy I met when I was in matric. I gave him 3 years of my life he introduced me to his family and since im from a very small family and we are not very close so I became so attached to his, and he cheated on me 3 times that I know of, then he would leave me and his excuse for leaving me is that '' i' m too much of a good woman for him, that I deserve so much more than what his giving me'' then he would leave and be with the other women he stared dating. I would be left torn apart begging him to come back to me regardless of all the pain he has caused me. then he would come back an we pick up where we left off again. until this past weekend, when they say a woman's gut feeling is always right then it is because on 2 several occasions I was right about the fact that he was cheating. he will chat to his side girls while in bed or in the car with me. the this weekend he decided that he wants to leave me again and with the same excuse about me being too good for him and that he loves me and want5s to be with me but his heart is no longer here WTF is that ? and I have never begged a person the way I begged him to stay. I told him we could start over and forget that we ever had issues, I really don't know who I was fooling but he didn't want to hear it. now iv decided to move on but I don't know where to start. I don't want to be alone because that is when I think about him. how do I pick up the pieces after so long.
IM so confused, what if im not strong enough to make it through? I made him the centre of my life. I was making future plans for us, thinking he would be the father of my kids. but in just a flash all of that was taken away from me, God knows how much I love this guy but I want to move on now, without him in it. but how
IM so confused, what if im not strong enough to make it through? I made him the centre of my life. I was making future plans for us, thinking he would be the father of my kids. but in just a flash all of that was taken away from me, God knows how much I love this guy but I want to move on now, without him in it. but how
Now in month 3 it is easier. I still miss her and think about her often but know I am better off.
Hang in there. It will be OK.
I don't think I can offer much advice but it is good to hear what RGL69 said in regards to it gets better. My husband of 16 years and father of my 5 year old just told me about 8 weeks ago that he cheated and then about 4 weeks ago that he wants a divorce. I would do anything, even if unhealthy for me, to keep my family together so I get your sadness, that you don't feel strong enough to make it through this unbearable pain. I have been through some crap in my life and I can tell you this is by far the worse pain I have ever felt. I hate it so much that I can't stand to be in my own skin most of the time. I wish I could just turn off the pain. It hurts so much that its crippling. I don't think I am at a stage to give you any advice but I wanted you to know that someone out there acknowledges your pain, that i know you are suffering and I am sorry for it, and that someone out there is thinking of you.
It's been 6 months since I last saw my husband. I adored him but he started using meth and he was no longer the person I knew. He didn't know himself.
At first I was grief stricken--as if someone close had died. With time my grief stricken state turned to grieving. While I am still grieving I am also doing a lot for myself to help me with the process.
I have my Daily Strength community to support and come to for support. I also take yoga classes, take long dog walks, write poetry, and go to counseling. These things are helping me.
Rumi once said "The cure for the pain is in the pain." Those like my husband who refuse to feel the pain stuff it with drugs or alcohol. People like me go through the awful pain because we want to get on the other side of it.
There is another side for you. It will take effort on your part. It will take self care and putting yourself first. Like Rumi also said
"When you say that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?"
Candice, there is another side to come. It is early to see it but not too early to believe it. Start doing small things for you, even if it is just a bubble bath or writing in a journal.
In the end, think about what you would say to a friend in your shoes. Say it to yourself. Be your own best friend.
Sincerely,
jazul
all of your advice is so appreciated, I hope that all of your heartaches have made you all stronger.
God bless you