Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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ElizabethM 11/26/2016

I have been divorced for 5 years now. We were married for 26 years and have two adult children. I am happily remarried and life is good, but I just can't seem to put a period on being divorced. I do not miss my ex husband and I never did. He was caught cheating 4 times before I called it quits. I really think I fell ouf of love with him 17 years ago, after he was caught the second time. I just didn't want to go through with a divorce. I had envisioned divorce so many times through the years and hated the thought of our kids going to separate houses for holiday, etc... So I stayed.

Our everyday life was good. We laughed a lot and had fun with our kids. I knew so many people who fought canstantly with their spouses that I just thought there weren't very many good marriages out there and I should be happy that the other areas in my life and marriage were good... or tolerable.

I have a wonderful husband and we have been married for 3 years. He is truly my best friend, and I pray that it always stays that way. So, why can't I stop thinking about being divorced? The thought that I am a divorced person is on my mind so much!! What is wrong with me?? I want this to stop crossing my mind so much.

Any advise???

mijose 11/26/2016

Hi i dont know much im only about to turn 21. but what is it about being divorced that sticks with you so much? the fact that you were married and it failed and youre having a hard time living with that? if you havent, i think talking to your children would help. if they feel you are better off and happy, then i think that would help. I wish my parents wouldve divorced when i was 8. they are terrible togetherr...the verbal abuse that went on my house is unforgiveable. but they are my parents and i love them but i always tell them they shoudlve divorced and they know it but they couldnt because of financial reasons and because they felt they had to stay for me and my sister.

ElizabethM 11/27/2016

Thanks for replying Mijose. Our kids were/are okay with the divorce. It was odd when I learned this because my ex and I seldom fought. We all got along very well and had fun together. When we told them we were getting divorced, they were okay with it. They were 20 and 25 years old. When my daughter learned about all of the cheating her dad did, she told me that she would never want me to go back to him. She loved him, but felt no one should tolerate that.

You have helped me by reminding me that my kids are okay with it, and I think not keeping my family together has been a huge disappointment in my mind. So THANK YOU very much.

I think the other piece to this is that EVERYTHING in my life changed when I got divorced. I moved back to our hometown and left my home and job that I had been at for 12 years. I also switched career fields when I moved. My son lived in the same area as us and my daughter came home from college on the weekends. When I moved back to our hometown, she told me as soon as she graduated she was moving here as well. She did, but she is now married and lives 4 hours away. My son is 16 hours away. So, I went from having everyone near me, to moving to a different home, different job and my immediately family being split up. So, it has been an adjustment.

My brother and his wife argue all the time and their adult children want them to get a divorce. When you told me about your parents, it reminded me of them.

Thank you so much for your response! I appreciate it.

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