Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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conflicted58 02/01/2017

I've been married 33 years, 3 adult children. We've had our issues and my husband has gone through an extremely stressful year with his business and extended family problems.He recenty lost his father they had a very close relationship.

He says I haven't been supportive enough and maybe that is true. Our relationship has lost it's intimacy I'm not talking about sex we still have sex on a regular basis I mean just caring for and helping each other. The small displays of affection and just being tender and loving.We haven't done it in so long that when I tried recently just to spontaneously hug him it felt awkward and forced to both of us.

He's become a very negative person in his outlook on life I think he's feeling depressed. Basically he says he feels trapped and just wants to start a new life. We haven't done anything yet about separating, the issues were just verbalized in Nov. 2016, It was so hard to hear the things he said even though he wasn't cruel but the classic line "I love you not in love with you". What is strange is as I am processing this I almost have a feeling of relief. I don't think I want to lose him he is a good man and at times I still feel in love with him. I think he has so many issues that I just can't solve for him, it is very sad. I'm wondering am I in denial and is this is all going to hit me at once, I am fearful of being alone but know I have the strenght to do it. Then I have the feelings that I should fight for my marriage it just sounds so hard and I don't know if he even wants to do that or even where to start.

We've decided to just postpone a decision for now. We're friendly with each other still sleeping in the same bed but my stomach is in knots and I can't sleep, he is having the same problem.

I have started talking to a therapist to try to figure out what I really want, it is so unclear to me.

Any advice would be welcomed.

jel 02/07/2017

Well, I'll start by saying that I'm not going to give you any advice, as I can relate to much of what you're saying and feeling and I just wouldn't have any confidence that I could advise you. But I will say that you encourage me just by how peaceful, calmly and wisely you are looking at your situation. And also that getting outside support, such as a therapist (as long as that person espouses your values) is a good decision (as I've done so a number of times when I felt overwhelmed with how to deal with such emotions). If I were to offer any action to take more so to encourage you and to give you a hope no matter the outcome, it would be to pray and seek God for support and intercession on behalf of your marriage. He is the only source that I know and have had recourse to that has helped me continue on after divorce and even in a new marriage that I struggle to find hope in a number of times. I'll definitely pray for you and your spouse. I know God is able to do miracles (I've seen it in a number of marriages even after there seemed to be no hope).

mirandac 02/07/2017

I am glad you are going to a therapist to help you
With your feelings, emotions and thoughts. My
Marriage died from a lack of emotional intimacy

We had a strong marriage for probably 10+ years.
Not Sure when it changed. He stopped validating
Me And our life became about him. That gets old
After awhile you start to shut down emotionally.

I could not have told you what was going on inside
Of me or why i no longer felt that old connection.
I still had a strong bond and commitment.

I got the i love you BUT Line too. I hope there is
not a third party already. That makes matters much
worse and more painful. HUGS

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