Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
2 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

how do i deal with him?

nanouzz
nanouzz
i found him in bed with a other woman and he said it was all plan ,,he wants me to be hurt ,,,we have two kids together and he wants to come here and see them but i can stand to look at him....i can't stop crying and im trying not to show him that i am hurt ,,,,how could he? ,,,,and he told me he hasnt loved me in 2 months ,,,but he waited to have some one else before he let me go ,,,,,,i can't stop hurting how do i deal with this i have 4 kids to take care of and i can't even focus on that i just want to be alone and cry ....help me please some one
deleted_user
deleted_user
Do ya own a gun?? A baseball bat? any weapon at all?
deleted_user
deleted_user
He is still trying to hurt you and you need to get past the shock and the grief. Lets see who is hurting when he finds out he has to pay child support for 4 kids and alimony . You need to get angry and get a lawyer, if they are his kids and I am presuming they are then he needs to help you care for them. Its time for the hurt to go the other way. You can do it and you will be alright if you can't do it for you then do it for the kids.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree. The pain is unbearable right now. But it is time to get pissed and I mean mighty pissed. Do what ever it takes. Once you get pissed unleash it on him. Use what ever it takes to knock him down a knotch or two. That is all I could do to get past the affairs. Is it the right way to handle it. Nope! But you need to perserve what you have left of yourself. Time will help rebuild. Alot of time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The best revenge is to live well...said over & over here on DS. For a small laugh, check out my ADULT ONLY POEM...Ode to the other woman! Hang in there poor girl!
nanouzz
nanouzz
thank you ,,,i went ot his place last night to talk about visitation and he said **why dont you put a restraining order onme that way it wont be my fault i dont see the kids** like what a fu&*^$$ ass*&^ so i did something reallt wrong i broke his window ,,,,thats not me to be this way but the pain is just to hard to take i'm gonna lose it i feel like ,,,,,,,i just want to kill him ,,,,,,,,,
deleted_user
deleted_user
He is doing this on purpose to hurt you. don't let him. Remember every time you see him or hear his voice he is trying to torture you. Find a way to ignore it. I know, I know...everything is raw right now but you have to fight it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
1st you want to do what is best for the kids. Don't let him walk out of their lives and make you the reason why. That is his plan. Don't let him hurt them either way. You are hurting and you will continue to hurt for a long time. What you don't want to do is live in the hurt. Eventually the pain will consume and own you. This way he can not love you and still have your mind and your life. He has claimed so much power over you. Get a new bed (when you can), change the bedroom around. In this case pain can be managed better once you turn it into anger. Then you turn anger into reality. I know it hurts but don't let your tears blind you to what he's doing and what you need to do. (((HUG)))
deleted_user
deleted_user
He is depending on you being weak. Don't keep giving that to him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's not important that you are strong right now, but its important you LOOK strong. This guy sounds like a huge prick.
He deserves whatever you can throw at him! Throw a lawyer at home!

I hope you some family or friends nearby you can lean on now to help you out. You more than entitled to cry though, Let me know and I send you a club pack of kleenex.