Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi, I have been lurking here in the last a few days. I am very sorry to read about some the things you guys are going through, although I find your kind words to each other to be very helpful and inspirational...
I have been going through a breakup in the last month or so. It's all happening very fast. After 5 years of marriage, my wife said she had been unhappy for a while, and that she was done with me. No need to get in to the deals now, but the main issues are that I didn't put her at the top of my priorities, and we did not communicate well. Despite how hard I tried to show her that I was willing to work on the relationship, she couldn't be convinced that I would change. She wouldn't give me a second chance... She has moved out, and will be filing for divorce today or tomorrow.
I am so sad that it's over because we fought extremely unlike odds to be together, and had share so much together. I never imagined that we would be apart. I love her dearly, and always will. But heart is no longer here. That's the reality. I think I started to accept it last week. I have to let her go now....
Then we talked yesterday about some logistics of the divorce. She told me she was going to visit her parents for a while, and then figure out where to go. I sensed a lot of emotions in her tone. She kept saying that she would let me know if she regretted leaving. I was heart broken...
Now there is hope, so it seems. And it's killing me all over again. Knowing there is no going back was in a strange way comforting. I am still dealing with the shock, the sadness, the desperation. At least I felt that I was taking 2 steps forward and 1/2 step back. But now I am back in the emotional rollercoaster. I feel I need to talk to her about us again. So confused....
I have been going through a breakup in the last month or so. It's all happening very fast. After 5 years of marriage, my wife said she had been unhappy for a while, and that she was done with me. No need to get in to the deals now, but the main issues are that I didn't put her at the top of my priorities, and we did not communicate well. Despite how hard I tried to show her that I was willing to work on the relationship, she couldn't be convinced that I would change. She wouldn't give me a second chance... She has moved out, and will be filing for divorce today or tomorrow.
I am so sad that it's over because we fought extremely unlike odds to be together, and had share so much together. I never imagined that we would be apart. I love her dearly, and always will. But heart is no longer here. That's the reality. I think I started to accept it last week. I have to let her go now....
Then we talked yesterday about some logistics of the divorce. She told me she was going to visit her parents for a while, and then figure out where to go. I sensed a lot of emotions in her tone. She kept saying that she would let me know if she regretted leaving. I was heart broken...
Now there is hope, so it seems. And it's killing me all over again. Knowing there is no going back was in a strange way comforting. I am still dealing with the shock, the sadness, the desperation. At least I felt that I was taking 2 steps forward and 1/2 step back. But now I am back in the emotional rollercoaster. I feel I need to talk to her about us again. So confused....
I am also going through the same things - the empty feeling that you just lost something so valuable, and the feeling that they gave up on you. I am going to counseling, and he was going to go with me too but decided he was done. I also need to let go, even if I don't want to.
There is so much support here, you're not alone. Big hug.
If I was you I would gently see whether there is any chance of talking about it and discussing the chances of doing some counselling together.
Don't totally give up on it until you know for sure that she has decided there is absolutely no chance of trying to make it work, and then let go. As hard as that may be, you cannot force someone to love you, so you will only hurt yourself more if she is totally checked out of the marriage and you don't let go.
Be strong! And come here for support - there is plenty of it from people who understand!!
I know I will be fine, given a little time and clarity. I need to focus on my kids (from a previous relationship), my new job, and the last class I need to take to complete my degree. I need to heal and move on.
I made an appointment to meet with a counselor early next week. I think it will help tremendously.
I've also had that bad, sick to the stomach feeling, every morning. The anxiety that he is gone. I've leaned a lot on my friends. Tell them what you're going through. Everything I've been surprised by their tremendous understanding, their great advice and wisdom.
I miss him and want to contact him, but it was him who said he was done. I need to live with that. No contact!
Many people have experienced what you are experiencing now..
I just hope that your wife will change her mind.Divorce is a really painful experience.:(
Hope this link can help you..
http://www.simpledivorceadvice.com/category/emotional-management-in-divorce
It seems that I have been living in a fantasy, thinking there is a chance. I have to keep telling myself it's over. The facts are un-disputable. I can't move forward with the maybe's.
Easier said than done, obviously. She is leaving on Wednesday. I am taking her to the airport. Hopefully I will get some closure. I hate putting myself out like this, but it is the last time.
I am new to postinghere, but I see you are leaving, so I will leave you with these words....
Mark 9:23 All things are possible to him that believeth.
Many professed Christians are always doubting and fearing, and they forlornly think that this is the necessary state of believers. This is a mistake, for "all things are possible to him that believeth"; and it is possible for us to mount into a state in which a doubt or a fear shall be but as a bird of passage flitting across the soul, but never lingering there. When you read of the high and sweet communions enjoyed by favoured saints, you sigh and murmur in the chamber of your heart, "Alas! these are not for me." O climber, if thou hast but faith, thou shalt yet stand upon the sunny pinnacle of the temple, for "all things are possible to him that believeth." You hear of exploits which holy men have done for Jesus; what they have enjoyed of Him; how much they have been like Him; how they have been able to endure great persecutions for His sake; and you say, "Ah! as for me, I am but a worm; I can never attain to this." But there is nothing which one saint was, that you may not be. There is no elevation of grace, no attainment of spirituality, no clearness of assurance, no post of duty, which is not open to you if you have but the power to believe. Lay aside your sackcloth and ashes, and rise to the dignity of your true position; you are little in Israel because you will be so, not because there is any necessity for it. It is not meet that thou shouldst grovel in the dust, O child of a King. Ascend! The golden throne of assurance is waiting for you! The crown of communion with Jesus is ready to bedeck your brow. Wrap yourself in scarlet and fine linen, and fare sumptuously every day; for if thou believest, thou mayst eat the fat of kidneys of wheat; thy land shall flow with milk and honey, and thy soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness. Gather golden sheaves of grace, for they await thee in the fields of faith. "All things are possible to him that believeth."
Thank you all for your kind words. They've been helpful. I am also grateful that I have a strong support system among my closest friends.