Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
After 8 years of a LOT of happiness and great memories, now it is over. It had been coming I know, but now it seems to be more and more certain.
She did not invite me to her family's for Thanksgiving, did not come to our concert, and did not text or call me on Thanksgiving. Nothing. I am sure it will be like this on Christmas too. We spent the last 8 years together.
Another unusual thing is about 4 weeks ago, she had an alarm installed at her house. I found this very unusual because years ago when she was burgalarized, she did not do it. Now, all of a sudden she has it and says she has it because she is going out of town almost every weekend to babysit her grandson. I am not totally buying this reason. I have not been given the code and I still have my key to her house and she still has the key to my apartment. I feel she doesn't want me going in her house when she's not there as I often did; often leaving flowers on special days.
I still have quite a few things over there and do not want to pick them up to avoid total finality. Part of me still really wants this to work. She seems convinced it can't and won't.
Yet, she still responds to my texts. It's not like she has told me to quit contacting her and get out of her life. Part of me feels that she still really loves me, despite all that she has said and done.
It's the whole thing of not having her in my daily life anymore and not seeing her. I went to the movies alone last night and it felt so unusual.
I wanted so much to text her when I got home and tell her what I did and saw. In the old days, we would have seen it together.
I am so depressed from this and am starting to feel I need help. I cannot get motivated to do anything and am sufferering from severe depression from this, along with other things that have happened, including no living parents and no family here, with the exception of one aunt. I am also alienated from my siblings at the moment. My Black Labrador Retriever is my best friend in the world. Oh, and she doesn't like her because she "sheds," and won't even pet her when she is around my baby. Doesn't even say hi to her or acknowledge her. Never asks about her. Very jealous of her I think. Yet, her Dachshund is fine. And I am always nice to hers.
Wanted me to get rid of a lot of my "stuff" too. Yes, I am a pack rat, yet it all has meaning.
Sorry this is so long.
Thank you for reading!
She did not invite me to her family's for Thanksgiving, did not come to our concert, and did not text or call me on Thanksgiving. Nothing. I am sure it will be like this on Christmas too. We spent the last 8 years together.
Another unusual thing is about 4 weeks ago, she had an alarm installed at her house. I found this very unusual because years ago when she was burgalarized, she did not do it. Now, all of a sudden she has it and says she has it because she is going out of town almost every weekend to babysit her grandson. I am not totally buying this reason. I have not been given the code and I still have my key to her house and she still has the key to my apartment. I feel she doesn't want me going in her house when she's not there as I often did; often leaving flowers on special days.
I still have quite a few things over there and do not want to pick them up to avoid total finality. Part of me still really wants this to work. She seems convinced it can't and won't.
Yet, she still responds to my texts. It's not like she has told me to quit contacting her and get out of her life. Part of me feels that she still really loves me, despite all that she has said and done.
It's the whole thing of not having her in my daily life anymore and not seeing her. I went to the movies alone last night and it felt so unusual.
I wanted so much to text her when I got home and tell her what I did and saw. In the old days, we would have seen it together.
I am so depressed from this and am starting to feel I need help. I cannot get motivated to do anything and am sufferering from severe depression from this, along with other things that have happened, including no living parents and no family here, with the exception of one aunt. I am also alienated from my siblings at the moment. My Black Labrador Retriever is my best friend in the world. Oh, and she doesn't like her because she "sheds," and won't even pet her when she is around my baby. Doesn't even say hi to her or acknowledge her. Never asks about her. Very jealous of her I think. Yet, her Dachshund is fine. And I am always nice to hers.
Wanted me to get rid of a lot of my "stuff" too. Yes, I am a pack rat, yet it all has meaning.
Sorry this is so long.
Thank you for reading!
Take it day by day - if you feel you need professional help, make an appt. In the meantime, stick close to those of us here who are going thru the same thing. We will be here for you and give you the support you need. You need to go No Contact. This may sound hard, but it is the only way you can start healing. Read everything you can get your hands on about the sudden ending of a relationship (tons of stuff on the internet). Reading about what others have gone through, and the validation of your feelings as being normal will be of immense help. Love and Hugs!
I understood her, until the point about the dogs. I don't think she's jealous, I think she's selfish.
I also think that she doesn't want the relationship anymore, but also doesn't want the confrontation about telling you directly.
The good part of that...is that it gives you time to get used to the idea. And quite frankly...to just not like her anymore.
The bad part, is that it's like pulling off a bandaid over months and months...just prolonging the torture.
You both sound older. I will only add one thing. It's possible, not likely, but possible, that something medically is going on with her. Dementia can cause personality changes. If you're on friendly terms with any of her friends, you could ask.
In any case, you may have to work on moving on without any answers whatsoever. Stinks. But all breakups stink.
I wish you the best,
Patti
I am in a serious depression. I don't want to wake up in the morning and can't get motivated to do anything. It is not just from this, but from other things too. The loss of her in my daily life and daily routine. It feels so strange.
I don't feel like putting up a Christmas tree, nor decorating. But I am planning on it.
I feel so behind in everything. I don't know where to start. The place is a mess and so disorganized. I cannot live like this anymore.
It all just feels so strange without her.