Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

How can anyone get through this...

Upsidedownlife
Upsidedownlife

I was married 9 years.  When I was 9 months pregnant with my son in 2014 my husband (unbeknownst to me) began abusing "spice" and alcohol. He has a mental breakdown where he was essentially stuck in a dream world psychosis of delusions and mania for months.  He never fully recovered.  He said horrible things to me during this time - things, having just had a baby, my brain couldn't even process.  He was no longer my husband, just a ghost of the man I had loved so much. 


About 10 months ago, newly divorced and still will buried emotional pain, I met the most amazing man I have ever met in my life. He has been a godsend to me and my kids.  I love him to no end.  But I was insecure - absolutely terrified at the thought of us not working out and the pain it would bring back. It caused unnecessary fights and 3 days ago he hit his limit. He cut me completely out of his life - told me just couldn't deal with it anymore. 


I am in so much pain over what I did.  I feel like a knife is lodged in my heart.  I know I need help from a counselor, which I am now seeking, but I can't reconcile what I lost and will never get back.

chitquen
chitquen
"Time heals all wounds." Or something like that...

I know nothing I say will make it better. Spilling your guts to a therapist will probably help. Also, try to remember the good things in your life, like your kids.
Breakthrough13
Breakthrough13
I'm sorry about what you are going through. I understand you are hurting. How you feel now is not permanent, it will get better with time. It is good that you are planning to see a counselor. Counseling can certainly help with the process of healing. All is not lost, you still have your children. Keep your head up, you are going to be ok & things will get better. Sending you love & blessings. God bless.
bridgie101
bridgie101
You will eventually reconcile it. It's a hard lesson, not to take old hangups into new relationships. We will always take some in with us, but best to clean out the big ones from our cupboards before we even start with a new man.

there is some kind of instinct humans have, of, when hit, wishing to hit. When hurt, wishing to hurt. Being dumped on - dumping it onto the next person. This is why rebound relationships are such a bad idea because you often swop roles and become the thing you hated most when you were the victim of it. I've seen that a lot.

Anyway you will come right. And there will be mister almost perfect down the track, waiting for you someday. Mister perfect for you. Mr what you need. :)