Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
so I am not sure I can type this out. Last evening we reached a level I never saw coming, and in front of our kids. For the first time in 12 years he put his hands on me. He just pushed me away, but i pushed him back and he was holding our son when all this happened. Our daughter saw too. The look of pure hatred that was in his eyes near killed me. People saw this happen, we have been separated since May, so we were at our kids extra curricular activity but in separate vehicles. I left and he followed me right close with his brights on. I went to my friends, which had been my plan anyway. I told her what happened and her husband over heard. The problem with that is her husband is a cop, so because he heard I had to report it, and where I live even if I wouldn't give a written statement my ex would have to be charged with assault as there is a domestic violence law here. So no matter what I did he was being charged. The 2 witnesses gave statements and my ex was arrested and released on no contact with me. I didn't want this, I didn't want him charged, I should have just gone home instead of my friends. I don't understand what happened or how it got this far. I am scared for what it has done to our relationship for good, and what it will do to his relationship with the kids. How did he become someone i don't even recognize? How do I save myself?
Perhaps the arrest seems like too much. However, pushing you, then tailing you with his brights on, is abusive behavior, and abuse only escalates if you don't do something to stop it. It's also concerning that he'd do this with other people around. If he'll do that, what is he capable of behind closed doors? Now, he'll either learn his lesson, or pity himself and try to turn people against you. I have been there.
Stay strong - you and the kids are safe now. I haven't been following your story, so I don't know if you have contacted an attorney. You will get through this.
you should also let him know exactly what happened with recent incident and how that was not your intention and encourage him to openly talk about the issue he has that caused him to act out of character in the first place. If direct in face talk is difficult for you, maybe a letter or an email of some sort could help too but problem is, there is no guarantee he will read them
Good luck! I wish you all the best.
You then went and told your friend whose husband is a cop, and now you are saying you didn't want to report it. Well, cops can't arrest him if you don't report, press charges, and move on it.
If you do this sort of thing in divorce negotiations in order to control your ex husband's life, you will damage your children beyond compare. I know because I was that damaged child.
There is no acceptable reason for you to be doing this. I have no respect for this kind of behaviour. Do not do it. Become co-operative. Be a lady. Have some grace, have some class, and get your children and yourself through the next ten years with class and style.
Your children can make use of their father some day. You need to always stand behind him, always back him up, always give him access, always be courteous, polite, helpful and considerate. He is the father of your children and that will never change.