I wish i had something in my mind to help keep me grounded but I don't i sit here and just dwell on why did she leave me why is she breaking up our family etc etc....... I wish to god I could think of my self first and just say the hell with her and get on with my life. I am very much in the same boat you are and can't help myself from making contact with her I tell myself that i am going to do it but I get week and end up calling or texting her. I am glad you have gone 72hrs with no contact i hope I can mustar up that strength someday and move on with my life. Sounds like you are starting to think of yourself now good luck

I found myself looking back on my marriage and the 2 years before we got married. Knowing now what I didn't know then, a lot of things come to mind that I thought odd during our 8 years together, but always shrugged it off or he explained it away.
No, almost exactly 1 year since our separation and 2 months after our divorce, I can see a lot clearer and the more I realize all the things he did, the more angry I become.
Don't get me wrong, there are still plenty of times when I curl myself into a ball and sob for the love I had for him. I still love the man I thought he was, but he never was the man he wanted me to see.
So, I look at all those instances and the many ways that this man hurt me to the deepest levels with no thought for me and then I am able to redirect more toward the anger part of this mess.
Trust me: anger is not the prettiest picture you'll ever paint, but it does wonders for your recovery.

I found it helpful in that stage to keep a list (on here, in a private journal entry) of all of the times he lied to me, things he did to me that were absolutely not ok, the verbal, emotional, and 'other' abuses. The things I DONT miss. I would reflect on it anytime I felt nostalgic over the "good times." It started to help me realize, that the "good" with him did NOT make up for the bad. Many of the things he did to me, as with yours as well, are things that no person should ever do to another person. Yet I had swept them under the rug in my mind. It helped keep me grounded to know that while the good times existed too, this relationship was unhealthy for me because of the damaging things he also did. No one deserves to suffer through damage just waiting for the times it is 'good'. Yes all couples have problems, but your partner should not be damaging you, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, or otherwise. So I encourage you to make a list, public or private, what ever makes you comfortable, of the negative, bad, damaging things he did. It is good for your healing to get them out, and to be able to look back at them if you need to. I found that after making the list, I only needed to look at it a few times before I knew in my mind, with no list, that he was no good for me. I haven't looked at it in over a year and no longer need the reminder that he was bad for me.

Though some may say it is counter productive to forgiveness, I feel that accepting and acknowledging that they are no good for you is the first step. Especially when we are in the stage of missing them and/or wanting them back. You have to get closure on the ending of the relationship. If you don't get to the point where you realize how poorly he treated you and that he is no longer the person you fell in love with, you won't be able to move on from pining for him.

There were points when I would have taken him back. I know that would have been wrong. But by going through this and acknowledging the ways he hurt me and the reasons why I should never be with him, I grew stronger. Last February, something catastrophic happened in his life, and he pleaded me to stop the divorce, take him back, that he was a changed man, etc. It tempted me for about 12 hours. He knows how to sweet talk and promise. But I had done the hard work and healing, and had come to a place where I knew I could NOT go back. No one changes that much that fast. I have never questioned my decision to not take him back then, I know it was the right choice. If I hadn't done the hard work, we'd be back in an abusive relationship again now.

Stay strong. It may not feel like it, but you are taking good steps. Continue to take them. Continue to embrace your worth and be good to yourself.

If you're only 72 hours into this, you're probably not going to find peace yet (I'm sorry to say.) You're grieving the loss of a relationship. Even if it wasn't a great relationship, it's still a loss. Let yourself hurt, let yourself cry and let yourself feel. It's a process and it's necessary to go through the stages to start healing.
You're right...you don't deserve what you got from the relationship but that doesn't make the loss any easier.
I found walking or exercise to be a great help. It didn't take the pain away but it was calming and helped with the anxiety.
Eventually it will be ok but don't pressure yourself to make it ok right now. I'm so sorry you're hurting and going through all of this. Hugs to you!

Angel, you haven't lost anything, you are young, beautiful and getting your priorities straight. Have faith... you our happy will come, I have to believe that for you and for me...