I feel that this is a moral I don't want to change, but just to get by, how do I change?

What happened that has made you question being an honest person?

You have a right to privacy. That means that you do not use a date or a get together as a confessional of everything in your life. In fact, that's actually dangerous and the other person can direct you into giving info on cash, jewels, prescription meds and get you robbed or worse (happened to a friend in a support group when a niece claimed the man had an expensive ring--her friends did a home invasion and it turned out he had no such ring and the police caught the friends).

You change by closing your mouth and listening to the person you are with. From time to time you ask them questions about them. By gracefully and carefully making them the center of conversation, you can find out a lot about them and keep your info private.

Also, if you feel you have a moral right to go to a party and claim the senator there up for re-election is a liar, a cheat and swindled your best friend out of money--and the senator sues you and it turns out your best friend lied to you, then you are at an extreme disadvantage. A good reason for you to not speak your mind.

I'm not exactly sure what you mean.
Do you mean something like, you see someone in a new outfit and you really like the outfit but it looks like she has gained some weight??
You only say you like the outfit. You do not need to add she looks like she has gained some weight????
I don't know if that is what you meant. If you said all of that, I would say all that would do is hurt the ladies feelings and it would NOT be a lie if you only said you liked her outfit.

I understand the difference between privacy/confidentiality and saying too much. I can keep trade secrets at work, that sort of thing. But if interviewed for a job, the interviewer can easily keep quiet and I feel like I have to fill in the empty silence, volunteering information, related to the subject or not. And a date feels like an interview.

Trying, you saw my other post. My best friend said I invited her over to my mom's for Christmas... and should have left off saying it would be more convenient for me (instead of me going over to her place) and instead I should have said how I was proud of my holiday decorations that took me days. She said she knew I didn't mean any harm in it, but it hurt her feelings that I only thought about what was convenient for me.

Time, I would never confront someone when it's not my business and based on even my best friend's word. That's her job. I don't open up easily to people, but when I do, I pour out my heart. My first dating experience, I got dumped when I did this.

I would never tell anyone they look like they've gained weight in an outfit... another rule applies: if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

I guess the worst experience I've had was my divorce, my X was always telling me half truths only to find out later the whole truth meant he had bad intentions/actions.

As far as a date goes, you want to practice at home on conversation with a date and questions you would ask. Look online for help. Particularly on a first date, you don't want to volunteer everything, and don't volunteer your address and meet him there, and you hold off everything for quite a while. You just don't know if a first date will turn out to be an okay person or someone that is creepy after 10 minutes at dinner. If they get creepy or fresh with you, GET UP AND TELL YOU TWO ARE NOT COMPATIBLE AND LEAVE.

As far as a job interview, go online to some of the career help sites and find the info on interviewing tips. Our newspaper even provides employment/interview/job hunting tips all the time. Talking too much at a job interview usually is not good. Check out You Tube also and practice, practice, practice on stating your good points, the great projects you have handled and accomplished in the work places, any projects where you were leader and had to create and oversee them, projects where you improved productivity or through the project came up with a much simpler approach with less time and less people--that's all the stuff to fill in the holes in an interview that they want to hear. Take care.

Here's Cosmo's first date tips

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/first-date-tips-from-guys#slide-3

Thanks Time. I am fortunate I finally found a job I love, it was hell for the longest time there. But as far my personal life, I seem to do the same things, dating or friends/family. I am just barely smart enough to evade the creepy guys because of my trust issues, I can sniff them out a mile away.

I'm just hurting and wondering how I can change and be a better person?

I don't know if this is relevant, but for some reason, I thought when I got married, that my husband would be the one person in the world I could say anything to. I know better now. Egos and feelings are so easily hurt. I'm much more careful now.

I think it's relevant, jaclyn. I don't know...I think, esp if you're divorced, etc and learn lessons the hard way, then honesty is paramount, but at the same time, you also realize that someone who promises to always be there may change their mind.

I try to not say anything harmful. i always told my X I loved him just the way he was, and honestly I did not find him as handsome when he lost a lot of weight. My sisten often tells me I'm fat. I've asked her to stop. I don't think she is concerned about my health, this I didnt' say.

You said "I don't even agree, but how do I change?"

You cant change if you dont agree with that train of thought. You have to change your thinking, not your behavior.

There is a difference between honesty and having no tact. Balancing the two takes practice but is the key to positive, healthy and honest communication.