Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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AJ33 10/15/2013

I'd like to hear everyone's thoughts on how to continue believing in the things you are passionate about after going through something so life changing and difficult.

For example, I truly believe in love that can last through anything and everything. I think it's hard work, but the best kind of work. I think it's the most beautiful thing in the world. I was with the man that I thought I had this with--and now I don't have him anymore. How do I not let that change my beliefs on love? How can I continue to be passionate about how I feel when I have been hurt so badly? I don't want this breakup to change me...but I fear it will/already has.

Have any of you had similar experiences? What do you think about this?

ChiTownBear 10/15/2013

How can you when what you thought was love, wasn't. What you thought was forever, was only for that time?

You won't be able to until you come to terms with it may not have been the love that you should have in your life. That if it was, it would still be there. Doesn't mean you didn't care greatly for him, it just means that you may have loved, but it wasn't the forever kind of love you were wanting or looking for. That's still out there to be found.

Welcome to the group

deleted_user 10/15/2013

I went through those same feelings, and honestly, 6 years later, I still have them! I was married for almost 24 years, so I figure it's natural to have them. You plan your future and it blows up in your face. I think most of all, you can't lose that knowledge that marriage is supposed to be for better or worse til death do us part. That is the way it's supposed to be. Things happen out of our control but I don't think we should ever compromise what we believe or let it be destroyed. This is a great place to find people who have been there done that.

MarkFarks 10/15/2013

The truth is that we always change after breakups, it may not be a bad thing though, maybe you will find more things to be passionate about. For me, I'm going to put love on hold for a bit, I will just let it come and find me if it decides to.

"The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.

deleted_user 10/15/2013

AJ33.....I guess I'm on the other end of this. I am glad this has changed me. I no longer expect much from people. Then when they let you down, the fall isn't so painful. Yup....putting up a wall around my heart. I lived in a very nave state and believed, loved, and trusted more than I should have. I admire you for still wanting to believe in "forever after". I hope you continue to do so.

deleted_user 10/15/2013

I'm with NW16. I thought my marriage was strong and I really did envision growing old with him. My faith in love has been totally shattered. I don't think I'll ever put myself out there again. It's just too painful.

deleted_user 10/15/2013

Heh. Had this discussion last night. My marriage put a pretty sour taste in my mouth, granted, I was the one growing the lemons, but that was with her specifically. You remove that person, and add another to the mix, you have a completely different relationship.

I also said, that if you start seeing your relationships end more than 3 times, that usually means you need to start looking at yourself.

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