Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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bambam 07/14/2007

Today is his birthday, the stbx that is. This has consumed my thoughts this week and here it is and I already want to cry! I won't, or so I keep telling myself.

Each year we were together, I use to make a point of doing some fun and crazy trip (last year, we did a wine tour around PEC) and ensuring that every moment of the day was planned out with something memorable.

Just shows that I am the fool now, because I remember those - I don't know that he does at all - but that doesn't stop the pain of knowing that this year - today - and each one from now on - he won't be with me to share the day.

How do I stop thinking about this? How do I get away from the things that WE use to do so that I can make MY life fun again?

deleted_user 07/14/2007

Each year will get better. If it bothers you so much on important dates like this, do something fun for yourself to take your mind off of what you USED to do.

deleted_user 07/14/2007

No, bambam, you're not a fool. Chalk it up to a lesson learned, that's all. Go ahead and cry and get it out, and over with. Then have a great day for yourself.

deleted_user 07/14/2007

Of course his birthday is going to be an upsetting day but like the others said, cry, do whatever to get through the day and then do something fun for yourself but DON'T do something nice for him.

deleted_user 07/14/2007

My xhusband and i always got married on his birthday, by elvis, or the lady at the donut shop, it was just fun, and crazy... Until his last birthday together, he told me he wanted to get married. I said okay by whom this time the cats... He stated NOT TO YOU, to a new person. That killed me and it is funny now looking back at it. I guess you will have to celebrate with friends make up a holiday. Do it on his bday but don't be alone.

My husband remarried and all of my neighbors were invited, they through a block party on that day we all drank to him and her, we had fun. I was so worried about it and now every year on his new aniversory I celebrate with family and friends and ROAST HIM at the party...

deleted_user 07/14/2007

Lovely. That is exactly the attitude you need to have!!

deleted_user 07/14/2007

Personally I would at least send a card. I don't ever want to change me and don't want to be mean-spirited. I have kids so that might make it different. Now I wouldn't go overboard or anything and throw him a dang party but he would be the kids' father and may help them pick him out some whatever. As for making your life fun again, Get out of your routine and shift gears. You may find you open yourself up to new aquaintences, experiences, reinvent yourself! This can be very liberating!

deleted_user 07/14/2007

My husband left me on HIS birthday.

I am now worried about my birthday. Will I have fun? Will I just cry?

deleted_user 07/14/2007

the only thing that helps me is to change my rountine. I do something different, it helps break up my thoughts.

bambam 07/16/2007

Thanks everyone. I did what some of you suggested - I changed the routine and had a great time. I took a girlfrind down to Montreal for a day of shopping. Once I picked her up, I forget about it for the day!!! Yeah.

However, when I closed my eyes on Saturday night, drifting off to sleep, my thoughts did turn to him. It made me sad - but I fell asleep fast and it really hasn't bothered me much since - now, let's see how I do for my birthday in 2 weeks.

Thank you.

deleted_user 07/16/2007

Holidays and birthdays are the worst. I dont know how im going to handle his upcoming birthday. I always did something special for his birthday, gifts,balloons,party favorite dinner, Now im just thinking if i should get him a card! Im sure it will get easier with time. It just hurts a whole helluva lot now.

deleted_user 07/16/2007

on my stbx's birthday, I went otu of town with some friends and had a great time. I didn't even call her. The day after we celebrated with the kids. I bought her a cake, had the kids give her a gift that I let them pick out at the store, then left!

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