ABOUT 7-ALMOST 8 MONTHS AGO I MET A MAN WHO I THOUGHT WAS GREAT ! AND OK HERE COME THE LAUGHS- HE WAS GONNA BE MY PRINCE CHARMING RIGHT? WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG - SO WRONG ! WE HAD AN ON AGAIN / OFF AGAIN RELATIONSHIP WHERE WE GOT TOGETHER AND BROKE UP 16 TIMES IN THOSE 7 MONTHS. I KEPT THE RELATIONSHIP GOING DESPITE THE FACT THAT I KNEW HE WAS MARRIED- I KNOW I AM STUPID AND CALL ME WHAT U WILL...DURING ALL THIS TIME HE WAS TRYING TO GET ME PREGNANT AND WHEN HE FAILED I WAS TOLD IT WAS MY FAULT- HE ACTUALLY LOOKED AT ME AND SAID " MAYBE U JUST CAN'T HAVE BABIES"- THAT CUT ME DEEP... HIS WIFE AND I BECAME I GUESS U COULD CALL IT " FRIENDS FOR THE MOMENT" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT--- I WOULD CALL HER AND SAY HE IS ON HIS WAY BACK TO YOU- AND SHE WOULD CALL ME AND SAY- IS HE TALKING TO YOU AGAIN- AND U KNOW HE IS GONNA KEEP DOING THIS RIGHT? I REALLY WISH I WOULD'VE PUT MY HEART AND MY PRIDE ASIDE AND LISTENED TO HER- WE DID END UP MEETING IN PERSON- BECAUSE I HAD MOVED INTO THE HOUSE AND SHE HAD MOVED OUT- AND THEN HE CHANGED HIS MIND AND WANTED HER BACK AGAIN- SO I HAD PREPARED MYSELF FOR A BEAT DOWN RIGHT- WRONG AGAIN- SHE COMES UP TO ME AND GIVES ME A HUG AND TELLS ME NOT TO BE NERVOUS- THAT NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT AND THAT I'M PRETTY...AND SO I LOOKED AT HER AND SAID THANKS YOUR PRETTY TOO? WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY?! THIS WAS AN AWKWARD SITUATION TO SAY THE LEAST ... WELL THIS WENT ON AND FINALLY RIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS- WE BROKE UP FOR THE FINAL TIME ONLY NOW I FIND MYSELF ALONE AND WORRIED BECAUSE I AM A WEEK LATE AND THERE IS A 50/50 PERCENT CHANCE THAT I'M PREGNANT AND IF SO- THIS IS HIS BABY ! THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM HE SAID THE WORDS THAT HURT ME THE MOST- HE LOOKED AT ME IN THE EYES AND AS TEARS WERE ROLLING DOWN MY FACE - HE SAYS- "I'M SORRY I COULDN'T LOVE U THE WAY THAT U LOVE ME". AND AT THAT MOMENT I ACTUALLY FELT MY HEART STOP AND I COULD JUST PICTURE IT SHATTERING INTO A MILLION PIECES AND FALLING ON THE FLOOR.. HE HAS GONE BACK TO HIS WIFE AND THEY ARE HAPPILY TOGETHER AGAIN- I JUST WONDER HOW LONG ITS GONNA BE BEFORE HE FINDS ANOTHER FOOL LIKE ME TO BUY HIS PRETTY WORDS AND SWEET GIFTS AND MAKE THEM BELIEVE HE LOVES THEM. I DO FEEL STUPID IN ALL THIS AND WISH THAT I HADN'T DONE IT- I SIT HERE WITH MY BROKEN HEART AND FEELING VERY BETRAYED- I CAN HONESTLY SAY- I STILL TO THIS DAY LOVE THIS MAN EVEN THOUGH HE TREATED ME BADLY- THOUGH I KNOW I WILL EVENTUALLY HAVE TO MOVE ON- MY HEART CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE PAIN RIGHT NOW...I HOPE THAT THIS STORY WILL HELP SOMEONE WHO IS GOING THROUGH A SIMILAR SITUATION- PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT ALONE IN THIS?.....
MISERABLE IN TENN,
MISERABLE IN TENN,
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...