It wasent right for him to hide that from you ! Just remember that we all go through a emotional rollercoaster after divorce. He may have been embarased about it and didnt think it mattered that much. I would confront him on it and then make up your mind.

It is never right to hide things.

Peace and good luck.

I would mention it but not in a confrontational way. Here's the deal. You know how you said you want to take things slow? - well what that means is that you realize a person doesn't owe you anything - so whatever information they share with you they can do so gradually. It is possible that he didn't feel the timing was right or that the information was even something you needed, hard to say with folks and we should never assume. We date people and we expect them to operate like we would. Perhaps to you that piece of information is crucial and you would have shared it from day one, and that's okay, that's perhaps your outlook and style, but you can't expect that to be everyone's style. If you are going slow with people, then make sure you mean that. Don't expect to much and be devastated when things don't happen in your timing or you will walk around devastated all the time. People no longer date like they did 30 years ago, it's a new day.

So sure, bring it up, but not in a way where it sounds like you are hurt or offended - he's only your friend and you all have been talking for two months. Let things naturally unfold. There are many, MANY things we do not learn from people within two months - and some of the things we do learn can even b something we feel is a deal breaker - and that's okay. Be ready to walk away when you aren't comfortable with whatever doesn't work for you.

You are in control of your life and what you do or do not tolerate.

Good luck.

Go to the source. Ask him why he didn't mention it.

To me, hiding stuff is just like lying. Lying by omission. But, until he shows you that's a pattern, don't assume the worse. Speak to him first.

Some people dont mention it because it may still be a raw subject to him. Noone really enjoys talking about their divorces. To him his past is just that the past and maybe he wants to move forward a d talking about the past relationship may get in the way of progress. I would simply ask him if he is married and/or divorced and see what he tells you and see if he wants to elaborate. But I agree its scary when someone cant b open with you. We all have to gain that trust back after a divorce.

I mean to say I assume this about him because it is the case a lot of times. I based my statement on what I have noticed of others I the same position.

I agree with milliejay I think she put it perfectly. I'm going to heed her advice myself because I notice myself doing the things she mentioned. Thank you for posting this Bama I didn't even know I needed this advice. Helped a lot....

Thanks for giving me a different perspective. It was just hard for me to swallow. We have talked about everything. I have been honest with him about everything, and told him that I expected the same. He knew it wouldn't have mattered about his past...I needed him to be honest. His explanation was that he was embarrassed and ashamed and that it was a mistake...they were married less than a year. I'm afraid I've gotten in too deep. We are still talking but I am struggling getting past this. I guess what matters is here and now. I don't know that I can trust him now. I'm in such a vulnerable state.

You wrote - I'm afraid I've gotten in too deep. We are still talking but I am struggling getting past this. I guess what matters is here and now. I don't know that I can trust him now. I'm in such a vulnerable state

Here is what I see - you do not seem ready to date or to get too close to people - you sound still wounded from your divorce - is not even final yet, so of course you are struggling. You might want to spend sometime solo - sit with your grief and do not get in too deep with anybody right now because you are going to do what you are doing w/this man - reading too much into everything. He didn't do anything necessarily bizarre nor necessarily acceptable but you are picking it apart because the issue isn't what he did but rather that you are not at a place to initiate anything and have a healthy place.

You are saying "I really like this guy, he's pushing for exclusive" - and this what? in two months of talking? - That tells me you need time out for you so you can sort yourself out. Please date wisely, I am not sure how long you were married but I find that middle age people are having trouble adapting to the new way of dating and they are coming out of a situation where they were hurt and walking into a new one too soon and not learning from their mistakes.

Is nice that he listens and you both share stories on the phone - is not okay that he's pushing for an exclusive relationship so soon - so keep your eyes open - but most importantly, take time out for you and do not add to that a new man. JMO

Good luck.