Sorry you had to come back, but welcome.

You seem to jump into relationships quickly. Is having a man in your life so important that you go for quantity rather than quality?

You appear to love your kids and are proud of them. Please don't confuse them by bringing too many men around. You're their most important role model.

lmao! haha! I been jumping in/out of the same relationship for over 2 years.
He has many qualities that I adore, and we both have a hard time letting each other go....
sorry if I ever gave the impression this was a different man, it's been the same man for over 2 years.
He is the only one I have had around my children other than the "dad" who lives in our community.
can the judgements.....

relationships are alot of work and I myself tend to jump into relationships because I sometimes crave the attention.

just believe that you just have not met the right person yet to share your life with.

I am focusing on myself now and will not be too quick to jump into a relationship.

dont be too hard on yourself....if you dont focus on having a man in your life, you will be pleasantly surprised that he may appear when you are not looking!

yea otherwise....hmmm....
he just text me and told me he is an a**hole....lol....I didn't argue....I just asked him what made him say that? I will always love him. I need to find out what I need to do. I believe we are still broke up, but I need to find out what I really want.
I still have him deleted though.

thank you shellie... i plan on taking care of me and my children until that time comes. We have been in this yo yo relationship for 2 years now. He is staying with his mom. I have my own home and just shipped one child off to a healthy new relationship.
I am so happy for her.
My 3 younger children are getting ready to start school this next week so I have my hands full with that now.
He just finished watching his one and only son get married.
I am kind of sad because he always accuses me. I think he is seeing someone else.
I guess I will just have to grin and bear it until my prince charming comes along....
lol...I know there is no such thing...but it is nice to dream right?

My mistake. Here's what you said:

I will never find another person to fill my husbands shoes, when he got put in prison, I was single a year, before I even contemplated a relationship, than I broke up with that one, and was single for 6 mos. and begin dating.. and then begin a relationship 9 mos later, and now this.....

You did not make it clear that all of that went on long ago. I interpreted it to say that it was just somewhat recently.

lol I am here for support and encouragement, I sorry lance...you offended me and I felt like I was being judged. I am not the best at writing to make others understand. i am new at standing up for myself as I am a pushover. and then some. So forgive me if I am harsh.

Well wish me luck everyone, I know I tend to be a yoyo person, but I think I have FINALLY ended it for good.
I haven't text, or called him in 12 hrs. That is a record for me. I just really get tired of the accusations. I am not a person who sleeps around on my SO. I am loyal to the end, and he just really made me feel like I was the one cheating, and I was the one who stood by his side through everything. It just got so frickin annoying. I work to support my children and myself, and he was an addition to my family, and was welcomed in with open arms.
True to me, I am going to miss him, and I think right now I am just waiting for him to text, call or stop by, but I am hoping that he will do just the opposite and forget about me.
My children were asking about him and wondering if he was going to stop by and I told them no that he wasn't going to any time soon. I try not to get them involved in our relationship arguments, so I was sulking and they knew why and I thought to myself, this has got to be unhealthy for them, and I think that was the last straw. I finally said enough, and I am throwing in the towel on relationships for a while.
I think my children deserve a better future, than what I have been exposing them too. This will be the first time in 8 yrs I will be doing this on my own. I am frightened. But hey many women do it. Why can't I. Thankfully we don't have any children together, I would really be in for a world of hurt.
Well everyone I really need all the encouragement right now. I really am doing this walking away from someone you love is the hardest thing I can do. I wish it were different. I wish he would see how much I love him, but unfortunately it was all about him and his needs, and he no longer needs me. So now I am going on alone and hopefully towards a better future. Thank you all for putting up with me and all my vents, and all my choices of going back and leaving and going back and leaving.
It was so frustrating, because sometimes we would break up and get back together all with in the same hour.
To tell you the truth I still would welcome him with open arms. I just fell in love with him and I can't stop. I feel like if he called right now I would be the happiest woman alive.
If he doesn't call, I still will be ok, but the hope that he will call still remains in the back of my mind.
I know this is all wierd, and I am jumping around on my post, but I have to see it in black and white to process my feelings.
What is my next step to finding healing, I have been continuing taking care of myself, taking care of my children, just basically surviving and hanging on to the thread of relationship we had for so long. It is very difficult for me to say all of this. I was so desperate for his love, I was so desperate for his attention, that in it all I chased him away.
He was the one who cheated on me, he was the one who treated me like I was his door mat, he was the one who called me down, he was the one who left me to pay all the bills. I could go on about what a dirtbag he is, but I think I will stop there.
Well I must go on to other things today. I will be posting here a lot more in the next few days. But thank you shellie, lance, and reino for the support.