Jim,

I think you did what you had to do. Having her there every day was just not good for you, and frankly whether she realizes it or not, wasn't good for her either. The ensuing drama would continue to impact both your lives. Neither of you need that.

As for No Contact, take it one day or even one hour at a time. When you have the urge to contact her, find something, anything to distract yourself. If you do slip and initiate contact, don't sweat it. Just examine how you feel afterwards. That is, it will likely set back some of whatever progress you made. Keep that in mind the next time you feel the urge to contact her. Use that to reinforce your willpower and help resist the urge.

As time marches on, it will get better. You will get stronger. You will begin to rediscover the part of yourself you are now probably having a hard time finding.

Hang in there and remember you can always come here to ask for support if you feel weak or to just vent and get it out of your system.

I remember how bad I felt during this part, pain was almost intolerable. I wasn't sure I'd survive it.

I wish someone would invent a cure for this part, or if we could just sleep and wake up when the worst part is over.

I don't have much to offer except hugs from someone who can tell you without doubt, this crappy part doesn't last forever. Just hang in there, protect your heart as much as you can. You're going to make it.

You have to do what's best for you. It's best for her to leave. You did nothing wrong.

jim,
i know how you are feeling. the no contact is one of the hardest things i ever have had to do. i know that you want to reach out to the one you love, just let her make contact if necessary, the feelings of hurt and betrayal are going to be there everyday. be strong hang in there, we are both in the same situation.
we'll get through this thing together.

No contact is very hard but is what you have to do to be "cured" from this pain.
Go ahead, you are going by the right way

Be strong

I am very proud of you, your strength, your decision to stick to the plan of healing.

Your ex should expect that you would have some reaction after she decided to leave you for your friend. You are human, you have a pumping heart, and you are setting an example to your children as well. As a role model, you are showing your children that no one should silently take the betrayal, the disrespect, the push back and keep the abuse to burst your sanity on a daily basis.

She is angry because she did not expect that you would fire her and she needs a paycheck. After her decision to hurt you, she should be ready to look for another job - to say the least, since she had already decided to look for another partner while working for you. Whatever happens going forward will be the consequence of her actions and decisions. Her choices. Nothing more to do with you and yours. I will not be surprised if she "breaks up" with the other guy to try to get her job back - at all costs.

Please stick to the plan. Exposing your children to someone like her again will only prepare them to see you hurt again deeper and longer. Put a stone over it.

Whenever you feel like reaching out again to her, come to this site, write here, post, write journals every day, do whatever you have to do but please do not write to her.

It is ok to break down a little and come here and share. We all do this. We are here for you.

OK, buddy - don't let her do this to you. She's a cheat - she's a liar and you don't need her. You just think you do.

What are you going to call her for - so she can say more hurtful hateful things to you to make herself look better?

Your the reason she's out of a job? Please!!!!! - She's the reason she's out of a job - she has the audacity (sp?) to think that she could continue to work at her stbx's office managing things while she's screwing his "best friend". -

You don't need her - she's a POS. Selfish, self absorbed POS.

Don't pine over her. She's not worth it. You seem like a decent guy - hard working, true and faithful - you'll find someone to give that to you - just NOT HER!!!

She's not what you want or need - you just don't see it yet.

Dive into your work and time with your kids. You don't need her.

Focus on yourself and don't look back. Hold your head up high because you can. She on the other hand should be hanging her head in shame, but she won't because she doesn't feel shame. Narcissist much?

Find a nice, new hot office manager and just enjoy the show!

(Hugs)

I am so happy I found this website. What a gift to have support in the worst time I have ever had!

Just having something to look forward to has been such a gift! The messages of support keep me going. Sometimes I feel worthless because of losing her.

Jim

Please do not feel worthless for losing her. It is NOT your fault. Do not contact her; she does not deserve to hear from you. Let your pride take over the pain your heart is feeling. I have been a mess for over a month. I was in a relationship with a widower for 4 years (I have been widowed more years than he). He has struggled with his grieving for the last couple of years and I stood by him thru and thru. That is until he decided to take up with another woman. The loss of a loved one requires us to grieve; whether it is through a death or lost relationship. It is good that you have come here to acknowledge your pain and slowly you will heal from this.

Jim, It's so hard to have no contact and not see or be with the person you love.She has hurt you deeply so no you did nothing wrong. She is not walking in your shoes therefore she doesn't understand the pain and the hurt you are feeling. Having no contact is the best solution to healing. Take one day at a time and stay busy. HUGS