Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Officially today is 2 months since my wife has left me and from what has been said to me there is nobody else. If you read my others posts it shares my story on what had happened.
I have been in a haze of confusion and heartache with sleepless nights and a lot of tears. I keep telling myself it is over and I have to grieve and heal to move forward....but I am struggling with that.
I have been talking with professionals, reading a lot and have come across the idea of a trial separation where there are guidelines on how to do this. This would involve marriage counselling together, scheduled date night to do things together to see if the love is still there, set time on how long the trial separation should be.
I am willing to do whatever it takes to try to reconcile my marriage because my love for my wife runs very deep. I know I have to be prepared for the worse that she may not want to do this or we may try and things still won't work but I feel I have to exhaust every resource.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if I leave the things the way they are now and just move on or do I try this...I am so conflicted and confused and the only clarity that I do have is I miss my wife and want her back.
I am looking to you all for some guidance and advise, have any of you tried this before and how did it workout. Should I take this step, I have been miserable for 2 months and miss the love of my life...
I have been in a haze of confusion and heartache with sleepless nights and a lot of tears. I keep telling myself it is over and I have to grieve and heal to move forward....but I am struggling with that.
I have been talking with professionals, reading a lot and have come across the idea of a trial separation where there are guidelines on how to do this. This would involve marriage counselling together, scheduled date night to do things together to see if the love is still there, set time on how long the trial separation should be.
I am willing to do whatever it takes to try to reconcile my marriage because my love for my wife runs very deep. I know I have to be prepared for the worse that she may not want to do this or we may try and things still won't work but I feel I have to exhaust every resource.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if I leave the things the way they are now and just move on or do I try this...I am so conflicted and confused and the only clarity that I do have is I miss my wife and want her back.
I am looking to you all for some guidance and advise, have any of you tried this before and how did it workout. Should I take this step, I have been miserable for 2 months and miss the love of my life...
I can't speak to specific advice on your idea, I don't know much about that. Only that if you want to try it, you should. Understand that it may not change the outcome in your favour. Be prepared to accept that. But if it feels like you want to try it, then do it so you can move forward with fewer what if's or regrets. You are willing to do anything...your wife may not.
I know that's a tough pill to swallow, I know. I was willing to do literally anything to keep my relationship going and it still fell through...but it wasn't because of me. It was my partner, it was his decision. In that respect, you also should free yourself from the what if's.
Know there are things you can't change. But keep going, do what feels right. Know others feel your pain as well.
Not knowing the reasons of why she has left and wanted to walk away from her marriage. You are the only one that knows. We don't need to know but you have to truly understand why it has gotten to this point.
I want to encourage you to not give up hope and take this time to heal your wounds. Also prepare yourself for what can be different if your wife does decide to come back. What can you do to be the husband that you are designed to be?
This journey is not easy, it's painful but it's not over yet. Do you have friends and family that can help support you during this time? In times like this, it's good to have someone there to support or talk to. A friend or family member you can cry to when the pain is kicking in during the night.
I pray for your comfort and support during this tough time.
God bless you!
I wanted to give an update in regards to this post. I tried and it did not work. Her words to me, by text, was "If you love me as much as you say you do then let me go, I don't want to be together, I want a divorce"
I have to say crushing words to hear, sorry, read, she could not even give me the courtesy of saying it to me, she texted it to me.
Very hard to hear but I know that I have done all I can to try to salvage and repair my marriage... Now I am working on the healing process, taking it half a day at a time...
As hard as it is to bear, one half of a couple can make the unilateral decision to end things. I feel your pain.
How long have you been together? Do you have minor children? If you two don't bear a lot of animosity towards each other, maybe an amicable/collaborative divorce would work for the two of you? That's what my spouse and I are doing. Divorce is difficult enough, when there's a lot of contention and nastiness involved, it's horrible.
I will go and read back more of your posts...
It's okay to feel all of your pain. I know divorce is awful, especially when it's not your idea. Allow yourself to write, read, journal, go to therapy and cry as much as you need
I think what sakuraowl said was pretty legit that you can only do so much and shouldn't hook all your hopes onto the dream of getting back together as it may not happen because she does not want it. There is, in the end, only much you can do.
Now you can say you did all you could, there was nothing more you could have done, and move forward with no regrets. As you said, one small step at a time. Some minutes are excruciating and others are not as bad. Anytime I am feeling particularly low, I consciously try and take the focus from him and put it back on me and what I want for my life. Thinking of you at this tough time.