Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Samuel2891
Samuel2891

Ok as u may or may not know.. my wife and i are seperated not sivorved and not legal either.. just i dont live at home or use to be home no longer... well today i was in the process of writeing a very heartfelt email to my wife but also heartbreaking email telling her im leting go... fileing for the divorce... well i knew my marriage was at the end mabey i just didnt want to face it i guess ive been fighting her feelings every chance i got.. well today over the phone we had got into a lil argument about her ignoring me telling me i am vusy i got crap to do.. i didnt like her tone with me so i told her made her upset even more and she said your not my boy friend as yes your right im your husbamd by law she qoutes no your not your nothing to me in my eyes right now.. ok bombshell... i got really angry and now i suspect cheating fersure.. ahe wont even let me come back to the house to help with bills after she says she is struggling to pay rent another sign there in my eyes.. im not going to help her i gave her 900 this month to be nice guy and i give her money for are kids.. trust me my wife i married is not this girl that im seeing right now.. that being said she always been a good mother and kids come first in her eyes.. so that why i give her the money.. but back to her.. so in my mind now i can def aee it being over.. im getting my own place here pretty soon and once i do that it to save me a lil bit mkney im droping her car insurance an any other bill that we have togther.. 


Like she stated today she can digure it out... i want (wanted) a furtire with her a clean plate to start with but now im not so sure if that will wver happen after i file for this divorce.. i kinda think she needs to fall down befor she can get picked back up. I dont belive its right i should sit here and take the abuse from her when im nice ti her and she treats me like im garnage and im the bad guy and try to flip wverything i say on me..  i had enough of it... 


But i still love her and i want her to have the best.. mabey there is a furture for us mabey there not.. i have hit rock bottom during this whole thing i was balling in my work truck today after we got off the phone and she didnt give two hells.. so i guess should i just call it quits and move on give her a lil taste of her own medicine? She cant have it both ways she cant be rude to me and still have me around at her everycall? I cant afford an attoeny so i will have to do it my self either can she. I love her alot but she nmthinks she is justified cuz i made mistakes in are relationship that im trying to fix but she wont let me.. that she can treat me like this and get away with it cuz i always say im sorry i didnt mean to yell i just got angry my emotions got the best of me... then she rude again and i always am the one to say im sorry to her like i did something wrong

Alone
Alone
Have you considered talking to a therapist? Talking things out with a neutral party is very helpful. You sound emotional right now...don't make a decision about filing for divorce until you are calmer and really have thought through what is best for you and your family. Maybe counseling together?
Samuel2891
Samuel2891
Yes man i have tried over and over with her to get her to go and she said she dont need it im the psycho one im the one with all the problems to be honest with you.. she ia ouahing me away and there nithing i can so about it cuz no matter how nice i am she always flips my word and creats hostile enviormwnt for me.. she dont teust me ahe dont love me.. so j think the time is come. Cuz right now im the one to always bow down to her and im not going to be little my self no more you know i tried to talk to her tell her all the things we can try and she doent out any effort in anything
careyon1
careyon1
How long have you guys been separated? Please don't make any decisions you'll regret. I see you said you've made some mistakes in your relationship and that she is not willing to go to a marriage counselor. The fact that she has not filed for divorce may mean she has hope for your marriage, despite your mistakes. Even if she does not want to go to a counselor, perhaps you can. That may let her know that you are serious about understanding how you can be better for her, for yourself and for your marriage. She may be willing to join you once she sees you taking the first step. I would also suggest you not make assumptions (i.e, that she's seeing someone, etc), if you have questions, ask don't assume. It will start to mess with your mind and possibly lead you to make a decision you will later regret. Marriage is tough! My husband and I have been married 25 years, it's probably the most challenging thing I've ever done. It's a full time job that takes A LOT of work. I'm not sure where you stand in terms of prayer, but I tell you it helps a bunch. Maybe you can check out this book entitled "Power of Praying husband" by Stormie Omartian. I'm sure it will be great in helping you in your prayers for your wife and your marriage. I use her 'power of a praying wife' myself. I will keep you and your marriage in my prayers.
Samuel2891
Samuel2891
Yes i agree. Im trying to think straight and i know i ahould not make assumption but after i see the guy in her truck. My daughter tells me he come to the house i pay for. So ahe know if she files. I will quit paying rent for a house i cant even live in or go neer to her bogus restraing order on me.. so there is alot im processin right now i wish there was something that i could do to fix my marriage but i really think there no more i can do to fix what we have or had.. i wish ther was more i could say or do.. without getting drug along in her game tobget what she wants. I have cut her off saturday i have told her no more. I will take care of my kids and thats it. I quit paying her rent so i can get my own home for kids an i. I quit it all. Now she is upset mad etc. I told her that she can have that guy pay for her way if thats who she wants. I told her to file and i will sign them so now im waiting.. i love my wife to death but now its got to the point where tough love is where im going. If there is a chance to start over great if not ill will be happier down the road for what ive done. I gave in to her all the time to get kicked in my face. So it was a lose lose thing for me. That does not mean the pain is not there cuz it sure is but ill be ok eventually
careyon1
careyon1
Hang in there. You're right, you will be ok eventually. I'll be praying for you.