I spent years in such an abusive relationship that I never really believed it was possible to find anyone who could love me . My self esteem was so shattered and I was such a broken person . I was healing from that situation when I met someone truly amazing . He told me he loved me and wanted to get married so soon after we met . Of course I was hesitant because of my past but my heart had fallen so deeply it simply wouldn't have mattered if I told myself to slow down. During our entire relationship not a day went by that he didn't tell me how much he loved me. I actually didn't believe people like him existed . The type of unconditional love he showed me was something I didn't believe could really happen for me. My head and my heart was ready to spend forever with him . My entire family loved him everyone on my life thought I was probably the luckiest girl . A few weeks ago I went to bed with a goodnight I love you text from him just like every night , but I woke up with a 3 page long breakup email . The summary was "I love you but I just can't spend forever with you , in fact I really just want to be alone . " "this isn't about you, but I just can't waste your time anymore when I know I just can't do this anymore " . He went on about wanting to be alone not wanting anyone but I'm still so very confused . How did we go from planning a life together a few days before to this ? A part of me is so very deeply in love with him still and would do anything to get him back and the other part is so angry at him for making me believe this fairytale in my head to have it shattered in my face . For months and months anytime I had doubts on if this was all too fast he not only reassured me things would last forever but almost got upset at me for even questioning it . 

     So here I sit ... Heartbroken sad and so afraid about what the future holds for me. My heart hurts so bad at night I can't even sleep through the night . I keep picturing this life we were supposed to have and those images just don't stop . I'm in so much pain at times I cant even find the energy to cry . I just wonder if I could have prevented this somehow. he doesn't seem receptive to providing me with much more information then he already has . He thinks I need to move on with my life but I don't know how to do that . I'm so afraid I'll wake up 5 years from now with this same hole in my heart . :(