Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
hello all. im basically posting abt the same thing i did last time.
i'm summer, i turned 14 last june.
i was dumped eight months ago (over snapchat) and i feel like i can't ever love anyone else again, and i can't let go of the old him.
nobody i know even compares to him and it still hurts.
we were best friends for almost a year and slowly fell for each other and then we confessed and it was so beautiful and amazing and i loved him more than i knew i could ever love anyone and it was so perfect but one day he just didn't want me.
his ex girlfriend was so much prettier and better than me and he really loved her and i feel like i shouldve changed to stay w him. i'd be much happier now.
i feel pathetic and worthless bc im still miserable over this one person.
everyone says if im sad over him he isn't worth it, but the truth is i'm just not worth anything to him and he doesn't care. it's like stepping on an ant to him. you know you're ending its life but it doesnt really matter.
he never thinks of me, he doesn't care but i thought he loved me. he said he did. he's my everything but i'm his nothing.
maybe the current him isn't worth it but the old him is.
every day i revisit the old memories and i try to forget, i focus on school and go out with my friends but i can't forget him. i still love the old him.
i dont think im meant to get over him. i just want to die. i've tried everything. i havent spoken to him since he left and all ive done is just make vague tumblr posts about him every once in a while. i feel like all my friends hate me even if they say they dont bc it's one of the only things i talk about and i'm defined by him.
he said to my friend he wasn't even sorry and i know im worthless but it hurts. i'm sick of it.
i deserve to hurt over him forever but i don't want to and im trying to fix myself but i can't. ive tried for so long and wanted to die so many times but nothing works.
thank you.
I know you must get this a lot but you are only 14 and you're still so very young, take a good thing away from this, that you experienced love so young and learn from it.
You're both 14, I remember when I was 14 as a boy hormones are raging so as teens were all over the place. Many many many relaionships as teenagers around that age don't usually ever come
To fruition because you're all still young and developing and trying to find yourselves.
As hard as it maybe, do not compare yourself to his ex, you're only going to torture yourself even more. I'm certain you are beautiful and very pleasant to be around.
Please don't ever harm yourself or do anything stupid, why should you hurt yourself while his out there enjoying himself being him?
Why should you weep over someone who said he isn't even sorry? Take some time to reflect on the good and bad and learn to become a better you.
I'm going through a breakup too and I also thought my gf was the one, but truth be told, every relationship is both a blessing and a lesson. Take away from the experience and appreciate the good vibes.
Remember, you're young and you have a lot of growing to do! Focus on your school and on yourself!
There is plenty of love out there for you, but right now focus on being a better and happier Summer!
I didn't go through my first heartbreak until I was 17. There were many breakups before that, but they were either mutual or initiated by me. It was hard being ghosted. We didn't have that term back then, but that's what it was. I felt just like you do. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self some of the things I know now.
For me, the process of getting over the person took longer than the relationship itself had lasted. I was doing some things right, but months would go by, then he'd call out of the blue (probably got dumped by someone else) and I'd take him back for a while. So, please don't do that. He may actually check back in one day. Don't take him back. You need to heal, for yourself.
I believe the feelings of "worthlessness", and being "pathetic" comes from the brain's withdrawal from all the pleasant chemicals your brain was making when you were with him. You need to take time to heal and get your chemicals back in balance. That means, NO CONTACT. You need to go cold turkey as if he was a drug. If your school routine takes you past his house, or past his locker at school, find a different way to go. Avoid him as much as you can and get a change of scenery. Please find a way to get busy doing things you enjoy, with people who do not remind you of him. Journaling your feelings helps too. If you have confided in a friend and did not get supportive feedback, don't confide in them again. You can write here, write in your journal, or talk to someone else you trust. I hope you have someone you can talk to, who will just listen.
Big hugs! If you can stick to no-contact, you'll start to feel better.