Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Just broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years this past weekend. We have been trying to get to a point where we could move forward with our relationship and it just hasn't happened. This past weekend he just decided it was over. I was not expecting things to turn out this way. I've never felt so heartbroken. Not sure how to get over this. It hurts and I just want to talk to him and I figure out what went wrong but he won't talk to me. Feeling so lost.
Try very hard to hold on to your built-in hope. I know that this way hurts you, and I'm so sad for both of you. Only your boyfriend just needs a little alone time now for thinking critically about what you are experiencing, which blocks you both to progressing.
I strongly agree that you EACH should expect some alone time for serious thinking. And asking to be left alone is very often not finished with the words..."until I can think things over," which, after 3 years together of sharing love, I am certain that he just overlooked how words and ways sound so final to you. It's a joint time to do some critical thinking for yourself. Maybe even writing him a short letter will help, start with stating what actions you are planning and how you are willing to compromise with him in order that you may both stay fixed as a couple.
You mention that you were both already trying to get to a point where you could move forward, so consider that this is just a little turn in the road and not as big as a complete roadblock. If it helps to know this, he has a moment of cloud over his heart just as you do. Usually, with love, the heart will become so tightened as you miss each other that before you know it, you will soon plead to meet each other again for soulful comfort. Just give things time for now, the smart thing is that you each need to be sure of what you feel is the "real thing." Do be respectful that he ask you for privacy though. Yet sending a short, humorous greeting card, with an attached note, to remind him of how much you love him, is not so very intrusive. Consider that idea as a nice gesture for a very nice guy that you love.
Stay calm and try to relax with what's happening; it does no good to fret. And it is a good time to stay busy by pulling out for review the stored treasures of happy memories in which you've already shared happier times. :-)
All hugs of hope to both of you!
Remiah