Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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cisl4him 12/10/2011

Well, my husband decided to throw a curve ball and stop in today for an hour and make small talk. He looked nice and of course I was attracted to him and wanted to go over and kiss him on the lips but I refrained. He said he was stopping by to see my son but he stayed and talked with me. We talked a bit about my decision to let us go. He mentioned he quit his job a the slum bar he was working as a bouncer. He said "I got tired of being around drunk people". You know I belive in forgiveness but I just cannot go through this addiction and bad behavior thing again. It would be so easy 4 me to forgive him and I can but no go back with him. I accidently sent him a text i meant to send to a friend . it said "I pray to God the intermittent pain I allow myself to feel over Bill will leave me soon" Maybe that gave Bill a green light to come over b/c he felt I still loved him. My son , I could tell he was indifferent about his dad coming by. I think my son likes his dad not being here only b/c he doesn't have to be in the middle.

Surprisingly, I feel calm considering it felt nice to have him here. He has 12 more days to respond to my filing 4 divorce. I chose not to bring up the subject. I don't want to fight. I am just going to wait it out and see what he says.

deleted_user 12/10/2011

I don't know why you left but I am sure it was for a very good reason. I pray all works out for the best for you.

cisl4him 12/10/2011

TheRiversedge.... I ddn't leave, he did. He was using cocaine. He left in July..I mean I have not been the perfect wife and I have hurt him, but I do not deserve the mental and emotional abuse he puts me through when he uses. I still do care for him and in the end part of me wants to reconcile but I also feel he will get clean and relapse and do this to me again.

thank you 4 your support

deleted_user 12/10/2011

You are right to stay away while he is using drugs. He needs to get clean, and you need to be safe. I can only imagine how difficult of a situation this must be for you, but stay strong. I hope that this may be the wake up call he needs to seek treatment and get better.

cisl4him 12/10/2011

Riversedge...i do hope so too!!!!!!! I miss him , I mean the old him alot. Part of me feels , though, that I should support his recover but also go through with the divorce. I feel like I have failed him too much also by being unfaithful and that he may find someone who can love him the way her deserves.

deleted_user 12/10/2011

This makes me think back to when me and the ex broke up, even though I chose to leave and did, I would come over to visit with our daughter.. When I did come over to visit I would knock and just walk right in... She did say something after a few times and man did I feel like a stupid jerk, because she was right, it was over and I wasn't acting like it when I'd visit...

I guess what i'm saying is, she did bring it up.. Not right away, but eventually and in a way in which we didn't fight because I understood.. Yes, I was upset... but couldn't argue because she was right that we were not together and i needed to respect that..

one other thing, it was my choice to leave... So it may be different, when I did come to visit it was only to see my daughter, i was no longer interested in the ex.. So when she told me what i was doing it made sense...

This doesn't mean he won't.. Maybe he will.. My advice is to be completely honest, but in a very loving way..

hope that helps??

deleted_user 12/10/2011

Drugs!?

I was drinking a little, because I was unhappy....

Sounds similar to my situation minus the cocaine.... Sigh..

I wish the best for both of you and your little one...

cisl4him 12/10/2011

Sbofoli...I see your point. I will think of what to do. I just want to get over how I feel at the moment. He made it seem like the old times when he was laying on the couch. How could he do that? Then he text me " sorry but memories cut like a knife". he actually used the same words I used last night in a text I sent him, it said, "it cuts like a knife but your out of my life". ect.ect.

How long have you been divorced?

deleted_user 12/10/2011

3+yrs..

There was some of that, I could remember her asking me to stay... That "we had such a good time"... I would but never for the night, I think this made her upset and she began putting up boundries which were only good for the both of us....

cisl4him 12/10/2011

Sbolfoli...so your saying u were intimate during separation or after divorce?

Bill and I ahve not been intimate in 6 weeks. Longest we have ever gone. I miss that a lot. Actually, I'm scared thinking of not ever being able to share that with him again. I know he would have if I encouraged it tonight but it would ruin everything I have worked for to show him he has lost me due to his decision to use drugs. He also is in serious financial debt, big time. I gave him 1,000 last year to file bankruptcy and he has not done it.

Thank u so much for your insight.

deleted_user 12/10/2011

Not sexually, but more emotionally...

deleted_user 12/10/2011

No problem, and anytime..

Um, not to change the subject.. but is my reply showing up before your's?

How is that possible?? lol

I wrote that after your's, hmm.. strange..

cisl4him 12/10/2011

Yes...I wondered about that. Must be a computer glich. Nite.

deleted_user 12/10/2011

It happen again????

OMG>>> RUUUUN!!! ITS A GHOST!

cisl4him 12/10/2011

But I love ghosts, just as long as they don't come near me. enjoy the rest of your weekened and thanks again.

deleted_user 12/10/2011

Ever watch ghost hunters?? That guy iz crazy..lol

Thanks I will, hit me up if ever need/want to talk.....

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