Everyone is different and he may think that you are still his wife, but you have a right not to put up with his extreme behaviors. Let me know if you ever need to vent.

They make it so very much harder when they keep reaching out to their ex's. I do believe they do it on purpose for their own selfish reasons, not caring if they are making everything so much harder on you. Some people only want what they feel they can't have.
If you find it "funny" that he calls everyday, then it's OK.

If you want it to stop get a caller ID with an answering machine and screen your calls. Just don't answer the phone. If it's about the kids, he can leave a message. Don't tell him you have caller ID or he may think you are picking on just him. Give him a story about to many telephone spammers and the more you answer, the more they call.
I always screen my calls because of these people.
If you really want a life of your own, you have to untrain him to not call you every day, as it takes so very much longer to heal. He is making sure he is on your mind all the time. It's your choice.
I wish you the best.

Enjoy this while it lasts. You have power in the relationship, but it won't always be there. Eventually, he will stop calling, except for the kids. Eventually he will move on. That's when it will really hurt. That's when your real grieving will begin. Trust me, I know. I was always fine when we separated as long as he kept contacting me. He tried for years to keep me engaged. Then, he just stopped. He found someone else. I was right to leave for various reasons, but it has been very painful to realize that he no longer mourns for me.

I very much recommend taking a stand about this. You want to maintain the control, and if you want it to be over, really, it will hurt less if you are the one to initiate and demand less contact. It's all a mind game, but really, you don't want to get used to him reaching out and all the confused feelings of hope that brings, only to have him move on later.

Mine still relates to me as his wife and is trying to get back in the picture. No thanks. I refer to him as my ex as well. I guess he didn't find what he was looking for. But I will never trust him ever again. He's really nice on the phone too.

Brittany- what NotHis said is completely true. The same thing happened to me. I told my ex of 12 yrs I needed to move on and at first he was trying to contact me all the time. Then slowly our contact became less and less but I was okay with it. I had hope and I thought that the time apart would make him realize how much he missed me. Well then I stopped hearing from him and found out about six weeks later that he was already in another relationship! Talk about a blindside. It has been about six months and I have to tell you...those six months have been the hardest of my life so far. I prob cried every day for five months straight, had to go on antidepressants, wanted to die. I haven't heard from him for six months, and it's all very sad and very confusing.

Maybe you should tell him not to contact you unless it is strictly about your kids. Have you set boundaries with him and let him know that it is not okay to ask you for drinks and dinner? Some people just don't really care if they tell you they need space and then start to pop back up in your life like it is nothing. And you are right...it is mind games!

I completely agree with NotHis as well. I always thought I wanted my ex to go away. I, too, had every reason to end it. He always would contact me or play some passive-aggressive game to get my attention..I so didn't realize that in some way, I enjoyed that. Now..he's not contacting me anymore ..matter of fact the few times I've contacted him, he's ignored me. Totally stings.
It's been super hard. Try and maintain the upper hand and don't respond at all..you'll feel better in the long run.

I remember, shortly after discovering my ex's affair (he had already moved out), I had about a one minute time frame with him, until I could feel myself wanting to implode, dealing with him.

It sounds like your ex is feeling guilty about whatever he's guilty of.

I remember wishing my ex had tried harder, fought harder, wanted us to mean more, but now I see it was actually easier that he threw in the towel, because it let me plan my life, and get my goals situated.

Do not do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you don't want to chit chat, then shut it down. Engaging him is a choice you make or you don't.

Sending you strength...

If I were you, I'd go no contact. You'll heal a lot quicker if your not playing his head games. I'm not sure of your story, but if your marriage is really over, then go no contact and heal.

I'll echo the control comment. My now Ex that left me would call/text/email me constantly, even to the point of inviting me over at night every few weeks. I felt so guilty each time I gave in, but I was hoping it would lead to us getting back together. After a few months I saw it was just her getting off by toying with me. I finally stopped talking to her for several weeks. Very hard, but helped me to move on.......mostly.