Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
He came over last night. He was very drunk. I don't even think he'll remember what he said to me, but he said he's had enough of living with OW. After sleeping in his chair for several hours SHE began texting and calling him. He proceeded to text her back and forth for an hour. He said he had to go 'home' to finish it with her. He said he told her he was with me.
When I asked him if he was coming home he said he was going to go some where. What does that mean??? I told him if he comes home then he can't have ANY contact with her. He said, "Don't tell me what to do!"
I guess I'm not that important to him. I don't think I want him to come home like this any way. He's drunk all the time. He doesn't know what he's saying half the time. And he still can't agree to go just me. I don't want to live like this.
I told him I thought we would still end up divorcing. He didn't have anything to say about that. I just cannot continue as the other woman to him. That's what I feel like half the time.
thanks for listening.
When I asked him if he was coming home he said he was going to go some where. What does that mean??? I told him if he comes home then he can't have ANY contact with her. He said, "Don't tell me what to do!"
I guess I'm not that important to him. I don't think I want him to come home like this any way. He's drunk all the time. He doesn't know what he's saying half the time. And he still can't agree to go just me. I don't want to live like this.
I told him I thought we would still end up divorcing. He didn't have anything to say about that. I just cannot continue as the other woman to him. That's what I feel like half the time.
thanks for listening.
Drunks/alcoholics are highly dysfunctional and very sick emotionally (a good number of them are narcissists). And they are very good liars (as in if their lips are moving they're lying). The longer you are with him the sicker and more dysfunctional you will end up being. Drunks take down everyone in their path. I know. I played that game for almost four decades. I tried my damnedest to help and support him. Nothing helped/worked. I've been out 9 years and life is so much better and I am so much happier and healthier.
Alcohol kills brain cells and according to AA members, end up causing the alcoholic to make what they call BADS (Bad Alcoholic Decisions).
Alcohol is only 10% of the problem. The other 90% is behavior. The problem is that there's no hope of changing the 90% behavior UNTIL they totally STOP the other 10% (using alcohol) for good. Once that is cleared out of the system, if nothing more is done, then all you have is a DRY DRUNK.
So unless he totally stops for good (not such good odds on that either), AND gets help (as in not just AA, but therapy too) consistently for a long long time, chances of him changing are slim to none.
A couple of really important things for you to remember.
You didn't Cause it.
You can't Control it.
You can't Cure it.
You can ONLY take good care of yourself. Please consider getting therapy with someone who understands the dynamics of addiction and how it affects others. A good therapist can help you thru this horribly painful time.
~wishing you healing~
I have been going to Alanon. I know about the 3 C's I try to repeat it over and over daily. I also say the serenity prayer over and over. I need to accept the things I cannot change. Him. and change the things I can. Me.
I'm working on it daily. I can only take 1 hour at a time today.
thanks.
He is messing you up and toxic to have in your life
I am sorry he is doing this to you
I hope you choose to escape and be good to YOU
Sending a big HUG