Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So after a lot of waiting, my ex fiancee told me today that we could see each other next saturday. Haven't talked about the details of what we would do but he said we could talk about it later. And when I asked him if he was going to change his mind, he said he wouldn't. He also said no sex.
Last night, we talked on the phone for over an hour. We talked about various things like life, grad school, work, etc. We laughed and joked and had serious moments. We face timed for a bit after the call and we both started talking kind of sexual. We even said we would have sex when we saw each other and he would get a hotel room and have dinner and treat me like a princess. He later on mentioned out of nowhere that he cared but not enough to be with me and it kind of hurt my feelings obviously. So I asked him how he wants to sleep with me but not be with me and he doesn't talk about anything. My face completely changed when he said that, he noticed and said "your face looks like i punched you in the stomach." I explained to him that if he wanted to keep me in his life, he needed to respect my feelings and if not, I can simply walk away.
I texted him after we hung up and said you can be my fuck buddy if thats what you want but keep in my mind that once you become my fuck buddy you will always be just a fuck buddy and if thats what you want I need to prepare myself emotionally for it. Today when I asked him why he didn't want sex when he was very excited about it last night, he said "I am respecting your feelings like you want."
He doesn't talk about anything!! He says he's not ready. He gets mad/angry/frustrated when I say he acts like he doesn't care but he says he does. He wants sex but no relationship. But now he doesn't want sex because he doesn't want to be my fuck buddy or anyone's fuck buddy according to him. I am very confused. I am very nervous about meeting him. Any advice?
I can't tell anymore if he still wants me in the future or not? I will be moving away for grad school, he even brought up last night how he would come and visit me. like a couple weeks ago, he wanted nothing but space and was so angry at me? Is time healing him? Am I reading too much in to this??
Last night, we talked on the phone for over an hour. We talked about various things like life, grad school, work, etc. We laughed and joked and had serious moments. We face timed for a bit after the call and we both started talking kind of sexual. We even said we would have sex when we saw each other and he would get a hotel room and have dinner and treat me like a princess. He later on mentioned out of nowhere that he cared but not enough to be with me and it kind of hurt my feelings obviously. So I asked him how he wants to sleep with me but not be with me and he doesn't talk about anything. My face completely changed when he said that, he noticed and said "your face looks like i punched you in the stomach." I explained to him that if he wanted to keep me in his life, he needed to respect my feelings and if not, I can simply walk away.
I texted him after we hung up and said you can be my fuck buddy if thats what you want but keep in my mind that once you become my fuck buddy you will always be just a fuck buddy and if thats what you want I need to prepare myself emotionally for it. Today when I asked him why he didn't want sex when he was very excited about it last night, he said "I am respecting your feelings like you want."
He doesn't talk about anything!! He says he's not ready. He gets mad/angry/frustrated when I say he acts like he doesn't care but he says he does. He wants sex but no relationship. But now he doesn't want sex because he doesn't want to be my fuck buddy or anyone's fuck buddy according to him. I am very confused. I am very nervous about meeting him. Any advice?
I can't tell anymore if he still wants me in the future or not? I will be moving away for grad school, he even brought up last night how he would come and visit me. like a couple weeks ago, he wanted nothing but space and was so angry at me? Is time healing him? Am I reading too much in to this??
p.s. Sure you think you could be emotionally ready for "fuck buddy," but thinking your o.k. and then actually being o.k. with it are two very different things.
Fuck buddies with an ex-fiancee seems like to me way too complicated than I would ever want to get into. The fact that your even considering that topic of sex before even meeting up I think is pushing things. You guys should just meet up and take it from there, and nothing guaranteed to happen in my opinion... if you really feel deep down you want to meet up with him.
I wish you luck.
He used to tell me that I need to move on and if he comes back then he comes back. Well, Last night I went to a male stripper show with my girls and one of the guys from the show came up to me and gave me his number and invited me to go back to the room with him and I obviously turned him down. I told my ex about it because I am used to telling him everything and because I miss him and would have rather been spending the time with him. And he responds back and basically says how he resents me for all the changes that happened in his life and how miserable he is and how it would have been ok if he had his wife but he doesn't, how he only wanted me to respect him and i didn't and he was frustrated and hurt that he ended it. And he ended it with "in the meantime if you want to get laid by strippers or date then go do it, just don't call me afterwards and tell me you love me."
He is confusing me with him. But how long will he resent me and hate me for?? He says he wants time but not sure how long. In a few months, I will be moving another 3 hours farther from him. How will we even fix our shit then???
Do talk to someone.