Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have this very complicated relationship not just because of our ages, but because of our family tradition and religion. I know he's really into me but i freaked out every time i think about of our age gap. It's just that I'm so afraid thinking that when we're older, he would left me first when time comes and I can't think of what would life become. Which is the reason that I still haven't decided to be in a serious or with label relationship with him.
I am of quite the different opinion. Such a big difference in age means a complete different perspective on so many areas of life. My husband and I only have a 6 years difference in age (he is older than I) but even 6 years makes a noticeable difference in attitude, cultural standards and perspectives.
To add that layer of difficulty to already existing difficulties of family and religion differences creates a triple whammy. Similarities and having beliefs, values and goal in common are the glue that holds relationships together when things get troublesome. What do you and he have in common? What is the glue that holds you together?
If you already has misgivings about this relationship ("I freak out every time i think about of our age gap."), not the mention the distinct and statistical possibility that you will outlive him (also have you considered caring for an aging partner/husband while you are still in your "prime"?) seem to be compelling reasons to give this ample and honest re-consideration.
is the gap between your ages greater than your age?
i question how someone 20 years older could / would not see that they are pretty ffffffffffffing selfish with the other persons future. (your future)
you need to ask yourself why you are interested in him and why is he interested in you. if it got something to do with factors that easily change over time or unrealistic, its going to be short-lived relationship. given difference in age and hence life experiences, if there is conflict of interest, he will have upper hand on the situation. he will also be more aware of what he is getting himself into, what he wants, his goal etc.... if there will be anyone who will regret from this relationship, it is highly likely be you then him.