Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Having trouble putting one foot in front of the

Theisland
Theisland

Every day it just gets worse and worse.  My wife of 10 years is divorcing me because of an addiction problem. I feel abandoned.  I know that sometimes I put her through hell and I regret that every moment of every day.  I finally realized I took advantage of her giving me second third and even fourth chances.  I feel if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn’t have done this to her.  I have been to a therapist and I have spoken to close friends and it can feel uplifting but when I wake up the next morning I am in the same position I was before.  I am tired of being in pain my heart physically hurts.  It feels pathetic.  I dont see the light at the end of the tunnel 


sothestorygoes
sothestorygoes
Please know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Stand up for you and your needs. I have been married to addict for 15 years. I have done everything and said everything possible. I just recently realized that it did not work that way I intended. I always thought if I loved him enough, if I tried harder, if I...... But here is the new truth that I work on everyday. I don't make his choices. Period. He makes his own choices. You can love a person fully and completely, but you cannot make their choices. Even though I truly only wanted what was best for my husband, I often thought wished that if I prayed hard enough God would strike him with a lightning bolt to bring him back to his senses. Still waiting. His choices and behavior is out of my control, I never had control.

I think the beauty in finally realizing that I don't have control over his choices I now realize that I have FULL control of me. And so do you!!! Do what makes you happy. I am trying to discover what makes me happy. I understand that this will take time, but I have a choice. And so do you. If you feel at the end of the day that you have done everything and said everything you could to help this person. Ask yourself if you can do anymore. Can you? If walking away and loving this person from a distance is the best option for your happiness try it. It won't be easy in fact I am positive it's going to suck. But work on you. Love you. Find happiness in you!

I am sorry that your hurting and full of sorrow. But please work on you

I recently read a book called Codepentant No more by Melody Beattie and found it very helpful. Maybe you could too.

http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/Codependent-No-More-Audiobook/B002V8H88G?source_code=GPAGBSH0508140001&mkwid=s3LdwqiEA_dc&pcrid=89466650220&pmt=&pkw=&cvosrc=ppc.google.&cvo_campaign=Exact+Keywords+-+%5BPLA%5D%5BShopping%5D&cvo_crid=89466650220&Matchtype=&cvo_placement=