Ugh. Was in the middle of this post and phone went haywire and lost everything. 

Ok, Here's my story. I'm in my mid-50s, married 25 years and have a high school daughter. 

I discovered my husband was having an affair about 5 months ago and am now separated. We went to counseling 4 years ago after I discovered an online affair which had been over for a year. We went to counseling and he went through the motions but never dealt with his real issues. 

I feel like my life has blown up. I knew things were lot good, but he evaded me whenever I tried to approach the subject. He's been leading a double life and our marriage is a lie. After the breakup, I've discovered that he's been cheating for at least 12 years. 

I knew he was selfish, self-centered and manipulative, but now realize he's a narcissist. I am a strong woman and am mad at myself for letting him have so much influence over me.   

I'm working with a therapist and have gotten to the point where I know that there is nothing I could have done to prevent this -- it's not about anything I did or did not do. 

I don't want him back, but I am having great difficulty moving forward. The grief and sadness I'm feeling is overwhelming and I am full of regret. Regret for not forcing the issue. Regret for not getting my needs met. Regret for giving up my career when my daughter was born so he could pursue his which requires traveling almost every week. 

My daughter is upset that I am so emotional. She supportive, but frustrated. Wants the mom back that sings badly in he car and tells corny jokes.  I'm functional, but unhappy. My friends have been incredibly supportive, but they have their lives to lead, which is why I am turning to online support. 

I know I need to distract myself and focus on something, but the sadness creeps in and takes over.  How do I recover from this trauma?