Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Im wondering if anyone has had that AHA moment when you finally realized you didn't need to feel the horrible/not get out of bed/ can't move on without my partner moment?
If so, what did it and did you move on from it?
I kind of think i had an almost moment like that last night. I've been seeking counseling over my serious depression from losing the man I loved.
She finally made me see that this is not my fault and that it sounds more like his insecurities and committment issues that caused the end to US. For the first time, I actually accepted that. I didn't put the blame on myself.
She also seemed to make sense on how the universe works sometimes to make you hit rock bottom to only come out stronger and better.
Will it be a turning moment for me? I dont know. I miss him terribly and really do with we'd get back together, but maybe, just maybe it will bring other things to light to make me feel better, and ultimately move on to bigger and better things.
Its the first time since our NC (65 days btw) that I had 1 moment of reprieve from this horrible feeling I can't seem to shake.
If so, what did it and did you move on from it?
I kind of think i had an almost moment like that last night. I've been seeking counseling over my serious depression from losing the man I loved.
She finally made me see that this is not my fault and that it sounds more like his insecurities and committment issues that caused the end to US. For the first time, I actually accepted that. I didn't put the blame on myself.
She also seemed to make sense on how the universe works sometimes to make you hit rock bottom to only come out stronger and better.
Will it be a turning moment for me? I dont know. I miss him terribly and really do with we'd get back together, but maybe, just maybe it will bring other things to light to make me feel better, and ultimately move on to bigger and better things.
Its the first time since our NC (65 days btw) that I had 1 moment of reprieve from this horrible feeling I can't seem to shake.
I do remember, however, when I realized I hadn't text my ex, or had the urge to...it had been about 8 days or something, and I thought, "Wow, I never even gave this a thought"...that was huge for me because I was having to stop myself from texting him, often.
I think the process can prove to be a series of A HA moments, or one, continuous A HA. When I look back and where I started, vs where I am this minute...and certain decisions my ex makes today, reinforces the A HA factor of me knowing that divorcing him was a good idea, and my REASONS for divorcing him hold as true today as they did back then.
Sure. "Why were you smiling the whole time you were talking?" I suddenly realized then, that my subconscious already knew what my conscious didn't realize. I was better off and happier without her and her drama.
Am I living my ideal life, no. But I do realize and acknowledge that I am better off without her and that is half the battle.
Also, my dreams tend to enlighten me, but it was that incident, that really showed me that I did the right thing.
Keep up the good effort and it will pay off in spades.
Here are a few I like:
1. It might take a year, it might take a day, but what's meant to be will always find its way.
2. If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree.
3. Nothing hurts more than being disappointed by the person you thought would never hurt you.
4. When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.
5. Every woman deserves a man that can make her forget her heart was ever broken
And my favorite that i print and have at my desk:
He may still love you. He probably does. He probably doesn't know what he wants. He probably still thinks about you all the time. But that isn't what matters. What matters is what he's doing about it. and what he's doing about it nothing. And if he's doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn't do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.
Second ah-ha moment was a few months after our divorce when he lost custody of his son. It was very clear at that point that the only person he would ever care about was himself!
Reply #8 - Kudos to you for the shredding of all that. I was not that brave. I took the pictures and the cards and put them in a little bag and put them in my keepsake box in the basement. I dont have the heart to throw them away, but they are out of sight. The emails I have kept as well, but I have them all in one folder and dont dare look at them. The pictures I have on my computer is kind of all hidden in 1 folder inside of another folder that I don't typically go to.
One day it will be just a nice memory and wont hurt so bad. I'm like that with my ex husband. I didnt throw any of our pics away. My kids may want them some day. They don't really hurt. They are just now memories.
Somewhere I have a lot of cards that she gave me over the years along with personal notes, etc. As soon as I can find those bastards, they're gone as well.