Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Have you ever had that moment?

spicybanana
spicybanana
Do you ever have that moment?
That moment when you"re tired of being happy for everyone else. Tired of hearing it's not you it's them. Tired of hearing their loss not yours. Tired of hearing be patient your time is coming. Tired of hearing when are you going got settle down and have kids. Tired of hoping and even tired of praying for it because it never happens. When you're just plain ol tired!! When you finally give up because what you desire simply does not exist. Never thought to love and be loved would be so hard. Just having THAT moment.

within a month I have lost, both of my jobs, school, and my boyfriend. I am tired of dating, getting to know someone...or thinking i'm getting to know the real them and it never amounting to anything or finding out I'm the other woman. Never good enough to be their only. Starting to feel like it's me. I must be un-loveable? having to be happy for everyone else around me. getting married, having kids, dream jobs, never had a bout with anxiety or depression, just got it all. why am I undeserving.

Dear God I really needed to vent! this was so liberating.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh my gosh yes! I used to have those moments all too often. But as time passes I have learned not to think that way. I owe it to myself to not have those thoughts and to make myself happy.

It's nice to vent and get it all out isn't it? I'm glad you feel better after saying all of that :)
spicybanana
spicybanana
thank you for your response. It honestly makes me feel "normal" knowing i'm not the only one that has felt this way.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm 27. All I see are people my age finding love, getting married, starting families...and I've had just one relationship in my life and it ended. You are most definitely not alone -hugs-
melissa87
melissa87
Yes. I often think I'm meant to be alone.
spicybanana
spicybanana
Sadly I am starting to consider that a possibility. A part of me is afraid of being alone then the other part fears being stuck in an unhappy commitment. So alone may just be best
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I will always be alone as well and I have a job and a loving support family. My last few years have had more crap thrown at me than I thought I could handle, including losing a brother I loved. Somehow I keep breathing. I went back into therapy and talking is helpful. I am looking at myself again and trying to love me for a change. I could be so much worse off. Try to find the good in your life. You are not alone.
timbob463
timbob463
I am there most every day. You are not alone. This divorce is effecting me in ways I never imagined possible. I have good days and bad, but I always seem to keep going. How, I do not know. I pray for us all to get through these dark moments, and come out stronger. Sometimes, that is all you can do.
gem111
gem111
I am so sorry, spicy,
I used to be like you, when I was your age and older. Until I learned after 20 years of marriage, you just can't make someone happy if they don't want to be. I then started living my life to make ME happy and that changed me. No matter how hard you try you can't make other people behave the way you think they should. I don't even try anymore, it doesn't work. You have to focus on yourself and do what makes you happy. Sounds like you have been around some selfish people. Since my husband died, and with all the reading I do on DS I am finding it easier to say no to people instead of yes, when I don't want to do something. The world keeps on turning, although it was hard at first. People that don't respect my "no" are definitely not my BFF.
What you feel is totally normal, but if I were you I'd try a little at a time to start living for myself and what makes me happy. You can't please all of the people all of the time and it will make you crazy if you try.
Good luck