51 years old, married 22 years, together 24. This is so hard. We were separated back in 2000 for about a year due to his infidelity but we reconciled. Now I wish we hadn't. It was good for the kids, but now I am that much older and starting from scratch with work/school etc. I have an AA degree but it's worth little to nothing in the workforce. I need to find somewhere to get my Bachelor's. I was a SAHM for many years or worked part-time, low paying jobs so I'm way behind him career wise.
He dropped the ball on me August 20th and until this past Saturday (at a kid's event), we hadn't even spoken. We do text but that's only about bills or the kids. It's so hard because he has a great family support system and a good group of friends. I dedicated my life to mostly him and the kids (now 19 and 16) so have little support.
I tried a couple meetings of Divorcecare and may still go some but I'm not super religious (I do believe in God though). On their segment on loneliness, it basically said "You are never alone because God is always with you." Sure, it sounds good, but in reality, that's not going to really help someone that wants companionship or someone to go out with. I have tried Meetup groups in the past and may try them again but I've noticed some people in our demographic are nearing retirement age and have time/money to go out while I'm starting basically from scratch.
It's very scary to feel so alone. I do have two kids but am realizing I am relying on my 19 yo DD too much. I also have a 16 yo DS. How do you cope with the loneliness and feeling so shell shocked? I need to be working on the house to get it ready for selling but then don't know where I'll go. I may rent a room but being without my kids breaks my heart.
To top it off, I'm dealing with a very painful infected tooth/lymph node/jaw right now and have to go to the Head and Neck doctor tomorrow.
I am at a better place with my ex and his wife than I have ever been. I can actually have a conversation with him on the phone and keep my cool. When either one of them does something annoying I just do an eyeroll, chalk it up to them being them, and move on with my life. What I'm struggling with is the double identity crisis. Years ago I went to going away party for my mother when she...
This is a link by Darlene Lancer https://www.whatiscodependency.com/trauma-abuse-breakups-divorce-ptsd/#more-13463 about abusive relationships and moving forward.After reading this and speaking to my therapist by phone today, as I progress through the begining of trauma work I'm finding that this article speaks to 'me codependent' to what I hope to achieve Some Day as 'Me, healed of...