Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi everyone. My girlfriend of 5 years have been seperated for 3 months now. I truly was in love with this girl. My problem is that I got too comfortable and didn't try hard enough to maintain the relationship.. I keep beating myself up for it. My emotions have been so up and down. The lonliness kicks in every day still no matter what I do to occupy myself. I'm doing everything right but I'm so tired of having depression-like moments where I feel like I am worth nothing. I hate it.
Outside looking in, everyone tells me I'll be okay, I have all the qualities of a successful person and the right mindset. I can't see that in myself sometimes. These negative thoughts of what she could be doing just hurts. I can be happy, sad, depressed, angry, excited, relaxed all in the same day, I guess I just want to know if anyone else is going through the same.
I can totally relate to you. I have a very different situation from yours but the emotions I can relate to for sure. It's flat out is the worst feeling over anything to be so strong and happy one minute and the next minute you just wanna just scream into an oblivion. I'm not gonna be the millionth person to tell you you'll be okay but I will be the first to tell you I KNOW YOU WILL BE OKAY. Take a deep breath...I'm sending you love and positive energy your way. Each day will get a little easier. Trust.
I am sorry about the emotional rollercoaster that you are going through. I know it can be tough.
May I suggest that if you can stop thinking about her for a moment, you might be able to get yourself back on solid ground. You said “I have all the qualities of a successful person and the right mindset.” Consider focusing on that for now, keep your mind busy by concentrating on your job and other things you do best or want to do. Leave her out for now. Do not even think what she might be doing.
Living alone or being alone and still be happy and contented can be learned. We were all single before at one point in our lives, and we got by. That is probably because (at least in my case) there was no woman who keeps barging into our thoughts. The point of this is to be able to have a positive attitude which is a magnet to people. If you are always smiling, confident, able to handle setbacks, they will notice. And eventually, your girlfriend might notice that something is different. And you might get a second chance. Or a new chance, with a new girl.
And if it does happen, getting back with her or a new girl, don’t forget the lesson in your past about neglecting your relationship. Relationships need a lot of work. I read a lot of books about relationships as a single, as a married person, and as a father. And most books really give good advice that can be applied in many relationships.