I think you are maybe being tough on yourself. I would not try to be friends just yet. You are not stalking by wondering if you have been blocked or why she hasn't opened your snapchat.

Try to catch up on other things you may have neglected during dating. I'm sure you're busy. Try to focus on some of your own goals - academic, financial, fitness, anything you didn't have time to do while dating and in school. Take a little longer of a break before deciding on whether to be friends. Take some time to detox and I promise you'll have more clarity into what was right, was was wrong, what you want and what you don't want, going forward.

Mornings are the worst. I just laid in bed for two hours crying. I talked to one of her good friends last night who told me to leave her alone for her own and my own good. She called me selfish for wanting to be friends so soon. Is it selfish to want to stop feeling like this? My ex has the support system, I don't.

My other friend says to deal with stuff the earlier the better. I wouldn't consider him on expert on interpersonal relationships though.

Today's her birthday. I promised her I'd take her to the moon for this one.

She took another man, a mutual friend, home with her. They drove all day yesterday and are celebrating today. That's eating at me so hard.

He said that he's only there for emotional support. I believe him, actually. But man, that bothers me. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT!

Her friend asked me why we broke up in the first place. I couldn't think of the reason..

Called an online 24/7 counseling service yesterday too. They told me to write her a letter but don't send it. Throw it away. It won't be the first thing I've just thrown away.

Sorry for the stream of consciousness. Just had to get that off my chest. Feeling especially lousy on my ex-gf's birthday.

That sounds completely understandable. I still have birthdays where it feels completely unnatural to not be with my ex on his birthday. It feels weird to not even be able to reach out and tell him. Know that this emotional turmoil is VERY normal, though not fun at all.
Have you thought about doing in-person counseling, rather than just online? Being somewhere physically with a person sometimes allows us to confront feelings that might seem overwhelming alone at a computer. I know it made a HUGE difference for me to be able to talk things out in person, especially when I didn't have a huge support system in place.

It’s going to get a lot worse before it gets any better .. as someone going through something similar where I broke n yet have to work with that person .. I would say try diverting you mind when your mind gets too harsh on you .. reach out to people,
Find that one friend who validated your feeling instead of saying ‘get over her ‘/ ‘ you should move on ‘ !

You will have the urge to question everything about the relationship or about you .. but there is very little we can do about the past; whether you like it or not you have to let go as they already have !

Hope you find some peace ! :)

Hi GG3000,
If she feels insecure about her race even if there is nothing she dislikes about you, it is probable that there is nothing you can do about that. It depends very much on the person. There are girls on one extreme who are assertive and would even fight back and there are girls that are sadly deeply hurt by their experiences and what were said to them. So, consider giving her space and hope that somehow she will become a stronger person or maybe she would realize that being with you is worth any pain that might come along.

Today was better than yesterday. At the advice of several friends, I now "muted" her friends on social media. Now I won't be able to torture myself with pictures of her. I have to focus on myself. I didn't reach out to her on her birthday. Kinda bummed about that, but I was told it's for the best.

y'all have been super helpful too. Not always the words I want to read, but probably what I need to read.

I set up counseling for an hour from now actually. Still just trying to process the breakup. I've reached out to friends and family. Had lunch with my ex's roommate.

Like NR0206 says, it's going to get harder before it gets easier. Pretty sure I'll be seeing a lot of her in February and April. I just hope it's a hell of a lot easier by then.

Here comes a rant. Venting is cathartic sometimes.

Found some things out that I wish I hadn't. Feeling angry now more than I had been. Angry at her even.

This is going to sound hilarious, but she went to Red Lobster. We live in a town with not a whole lot of restaurants and I was always telling her I had never been to Red Lobster and I wanted to go. Well she went to fricking Red Lobster with the guy she drove to New Mexico with. I wanna talk about this guy some more.

He's 4 or 5 years older. Also in our same medical school class. He's black. My ex is Asian. I'm white. Cue the joke. One of the things that's she told me was causing her to feel uncomfortable around me was because I'm white and she "didn't like the looks we got in public." Even then, I felt like she was just repeating this guy's words. He's always talking about being profiled and pulled over for no reason and people calling him the n word. I don't believe half of it, but i give him the benefit of the doubt that that is what he perceives.

He was always talking about how he has this thing for Asian women. In front of me and my ex. He asked me if I knew what a cuckold was. I thought I was being paranoid so I didn't make much of it. He tells me that he thinks of her like a little sister. She tells me that she thinks of him as a big brother. Did they rehearse their stories? Was I blind to her infidelity? I don't trust him.

He ghosted his girlfriend two weeks after my ex and I split. Didn't know that until today. I find the timing too interesting.

Now he drove home to New Mexico with her (12 hour drive). He got to meet her father and brother - something I didn't get to do in 18 months! Really angry right now. I want to use more colorful language.

Also found out she had an "academic event." She got a poor evaluation from a preceptor and had to go talk to the dean of our school. We were dating when that happened. We were "good" then - at least I thought. Why wasn't I allowed to know? Why didn't she come to me?

I feel like I can't help but remember the negative aspects of the relationship and I keep finding out information that is really making me angry. Is this a normal phase of a breakup?

Someone explain my emotions to me. Am I angry or sad or irrational or what is going on? Somebody respond to any of that. Tell me I'm being delusional.

And no, I have no thoughts of hurting myself or others, and I have no means of hurting myself or others. I feel like I should say this because this is me being "angry." I don't know if it qualifies for aggressive. I'm usually pretty easy going so this feels weird.

Side note... (might make this a separate post)
I still have her guitar in my apartment (I asked her what to do with it, she never responded, put it in the hall closet). I was learning guitar the past couple of months. Can I keep it? Would I ever forget that it's her's? Is guitar playing forever ruined for me?

I would probably feel the same way with her giving this guy more and treating him in a more special way. There is nothing you can do about that. If I were you I would just protect myself from further hurt and pain. That is how life is. It prepares us for the next pan, and normally, another will come, but in a different situation or circumstance. To help you forget about her, delete all her picture (or archive them) and any mementos from her, and move on. Use this to fuel your studies instead and focus on your future and maybe there is a woman who would truly love you somewhere in the future. Do not take her back even if she begs or charms you because you already know that this can happen again.

Glad2Help, I wish I could like your reply. That's what I needed. Thank you.

I met a girl at a bar. We kind of hit things off. Talked a bit, took some shots, went out on the dancefloor. Actually had a good time.

End of the night rolls around, bar does last call. She gives me her number, tells me to text her. We get in our separate Ubers and go home.

We've been texting. Met for coffee that turned into lunch the other day for a proper date. It was good... Until I started thinking

Still not over my ex. I felt guilty having a good time with this girl. I have no one to talk to - I feel like all my classmates would judge me. All my friends are my ex's friends too and I don't want this to get around to her.

What am I supposed to do? Is it fine to meet people? Is it fine to meet people and think about relationships? Is it fine to date just for fun? Is this what it feels like to be vulnerable and lonely?

Start the free association:

I'm not sticking around long enough to start a relationship. I don't think I'm interested in one right now.

I feel like I'm not being honest with this new girl, and then I feel like Reddit and the internet is going to label me some kind of derogatory epithet.

It's been less than two months. Still tackling all of these emotions. Not sure what I'm feeling anymore.

What's a guy to do?

Can you tell the new girl you can only offer friendship right now, because you just broke up with somebody? Ask her if she's cool with just being friends, and then don't make any moves on her? Nobody would disrespect you for that.

I personally think your ex is getting too serious, too fast with the new guy. I don't expect it to last. Breakups suck, but being single in the summertime is actually fun.

I'm currently going through a break up myself. He was the one who broke up with me. I wouldn't recommend being friends just yet, trust me! It's way too soon for her. Let her have her space and she'll most likely come back around want maybe even want to be friends.

It's been 2 months since my break up and i'm still struggling. I'm trying to live my life and be happy with out him. I look happy on my IG account but inside i'm dying. I was say that might be how your ex is feeling. She want's to appear that she's okay with the break up and it's not tearing her up inside, but i'm sure she's not at all happy about it. No one is ever happy right after a break up. Just give her time.

Got a weird text from the "friend" she's in NM with.

"Well, you can chose [sic] how you address it going forward" and then "Sorry, I meant to send that a while ago"

I didn't respond. Deleted the text message thread and moved on... Except I can't stop thinking about what he means.

Should I tell him I have no idea what he's talking about? I'm fearing for the worst - that he wants to tell me they're dating now.

Do I ignore it?

Ignore!

Hi...I’m so sorry that you’re hurting. Why was it important for You need to include the fact that you all were in interracial couple? Were there stressors related to that in your relationship?? I would definitely seek some therapy, some support and definitely practice self-care.