I think most people here would say that they have suffered/still suffer from some form of anxiety attacks. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory. You have taken the right step by reaching out to this community. There are some awesome people here to support you, to give you insight, or just to give you a virtual hug. There is tremendous comfort in knowing that you are where others have been and they are still here to tell their story.
I know I am on the upside of my divorce. I have been divorced for about 14 months and am making it back to the happy side of life. It has been a long and arduous journey, but one that has made me stronger, has made me more confident.

Thank you for your encouranging words. I understand that only time will heal and I accept that. But in the meantime I find myself staring at what could I be doing and it drives me crazy, I am an easy going person and never anticipated this it took me by surprise and I am still processing it. I am happy to heat that i joined the right group and thanks for your input

Being blindsided is the worst. There are plenty here that have had their marriage end that way, including me. Try to find activities to keep you busy. I believe the number one recommendation I have seen on this site from everyone is some form of exercise, walking, hiking, dancing, yoga, running, biking, swimming, boxing, weightlifting...anything to keep you mind occupied and your body healthy. I walk 5-6 times per week 4-5 miles and find it has been my savior, as well as helping me shed a few extra pounds.

I know exactly how you feel...

I went through it over 20 years ago...it destroyed me...and honestly, it still hurts.

I think I have a journal entry on here, that speaks to the destruction of divorce.

Someone said that losing a spouse to divorce, is WORSE than losing a spouse to death...because we have no control over death...but a spouse that divorces you is consciously making the decision to reject you...and that is irreparable.

You HAVE to mourn/grieve the loss of divorce if you want to go on with life...otherwise...it will slowly kill you!

Trust me, I know from first hand experience.

And with that said...
I am sorry for YOUR loss.

I am almost in the same boat. My husband of 14 years moved out on me and our 12 year old son on Dec. 26, 2016. It was a complete shock and even more shock when I discoverd on Dec. 30th that he has been having an affair for almost a year. Anyhow...I am going through the same things. I am also an easy going person, glass is always half full but right now I feel like I barely function. My mind is racing all the time, I am constantly second guessing myself as to how I missed the signs. Trying relive every lie to see how I missed it. It's consuming my thoughts. I have reached out to a counselor and feel better after our talks but it's still hard. I know that me and my son will be better off soon and already are but it's just getting over this hump. I too joined to help me stop myself from going down the rabbit hole of reliving the past. I hope you and I can find some comfort and peace in this group together. We are not crazy and we will get through it!

I am so glad that you reached out to me. I hope we can help each other. I would like to keep in touch and talk about our feeling that might console both of us at some point. I understand it will take some time and some doing but I like you I cant do it alone

I am also just now completing paperwork for the divorce, and our house is under contract. My husband has been staying somewhere else. This is very hard and I am also anxious all day and all night. I haven't been able to eat, but I try to stay happy for my son. 2 older boys moved out last year. I have no family local, and I really never had friends because I always just stayed homely and did family things. I work from home so I don't have co-workers to turn to. I get on this frequently which has helped, saw a counselor yesterday and went to church today. I tell everyone I'm okay, but this is so difficult and exhausting! So if you want to message me anytime, I'm here.

Thank you, anewme1226 for these words: "We are not crazy"

I will remember this everytime he trys to insinuate that I am.

Dwien, you will get through this. For me, it took a year to get over the rejection, realizing that my very presence was nothing to him. That was the year of crying and sleepless nights. The next year was a struggle to come to grips with actually going through with divorcing him, and trying to be strong. That was the year of testing my strength. This year will be a year of successes and independence. I realize it might be a little different with me being the one to instigate the divorce, but the complete rejection from him was the reason I did it. He didn't have a mistress, he just didn't ever see that he had a wife. I had to save myself. Stay strong and believe in yourself!

Thanks for your kind words. We just move to Florida and I have no friends, It makes it difficulty to cope when you have no one to reach out to. I am very encouraged reading all the comments that seem to offer some comfort please keep them coming

My wife divorced me after 24 years..I was a wreck, was certain she'd come to her senses..I didn't eat couldn't sleep..gave up all alcohol and hit the gym hard just to stay sane and was counting on reconciliation until months later I learned of the affair and her banging a family friend which really sent me spinning as I finally was able to put all the lies together and the puzzle pieces all fit...so after about a year I was feeling better..but still hurt. After 2 years I was a lot better but still apprehensive about life and trusting others etc..I made a career change and got a great job that keeps me physically exhausted but busy with great pay...now in March it will be 3 years...I'm comfortable alone, I am talking to a woman I knew from years ago and that's nice and we joke and laugh etc but I've still got semi-adult kids at home (they chose to stay with me) and her daughters are in high school and I'm not sure if I want to go down that road yet but that's ok like I said I'm finally fine being single and I don't really think of my ex anymore but if I do there's no love there anymore as No Contact has been my savior to cleanse all feelings for her. She's like that song now, just somebody that I used to know, I remain no contact with her because I've learned contact with her does me no good and quite frankly since she dumped me she doesn't get to talk to me or my friendship or advice anymore. That's the correct attitude to have to get over someone..it's not selfish it's self healing.

I am so glad that finally you are getting it together. I got a long way to go yet. We were married 38 years. I could not believe that she was capable of bottling everything inside and lost every sense of affection for the last year or so. We went through a lot together, she was in therapy for depression for quite sometime and I went with her to counseling to help her deal with her present and past situations. I was there for her all these times. I felt that she was appreciating me when she said don't you ever leave me and how much she loved me...HA HA....We moved from Canada to Florida so she can be close to her sister and hopefully a change of scenery will do us good. But after redoing our house inside out we were not too happy with the area although it's very nice neighborhood. We tried to make new friends but it was more difficult than it seems. I have no family and no friends to speak of that I could confide in. I find it very hard being in the same house together. We both retired and have no jobs per say to go to. I am trying to keep it very cvil and amicable. To my surprise I now found out more about why than when we had previously discussed. After I signed the papers and wished her well She said that this was long time coming. Wow Surprise!!!! No chance of counseling to work things out ? No.!!! "Why " because every time we got into an argument she would bottle it in and let me believe that it was behind us. This was ongoing and she was keeping tabs on the frequency and waiting for the next encounter to make her move. I was stupid enough to mention separation in our argument and she put my feet to the fire and that what got me here. I have to move on but need help to stay strong. Thanks for your support