My stbx-wife had a daughter from a previous marriage. The father was completely out of the picture and had no contact for a few years. Her daughter and I got along really well so when I proposed to my wife I also proposed to adopt her daughter. About a year after i married my wife, the adoption became final - just about a month before my wife birth to our son. My daughter was 8 at that time.

In those early years, my relationship with my daughter was really good. She enjoyed being with me and I enjoyed being with her. Later though, she developed a lot of anger towards me. This happened about the time she was 11. In the years since then, that anger has only festered.

She's now 17 and I've been there for every step of the way. She struggles with addiction to weed and she's been hospitalized a couple of times as a danger to herself or others. It's been a tough struggle, but I've always tried my best and kept my commitments to her and her program.

That anger has only gotten worse. She tells everyone I'm her stepdad and refuses to acknowledge me as her father. I had always just attributed that to normal rebellion. This last week has kind of shown me that it's much deeper than that. She cannot be in my house without crying unconsolably anymore.

When my wife left me for another man in February, my daughter was perfectly fine with it. She even makes a point of giving the other man a hug in front of me and not giving me a hug at all.

She takes every opportunity to show that she's angry at me. A couple of years ago my stbx-wife and I would talk about how it felt like we're living with an abuser and having to walk on egg shells to avoid setting her off. I've been to therapy and alanon since then though so I no longer walk on egg shells. Instead I set limits and set consequences for exceeding those limits.

I've finally realized that her refusal to accept me as her dad is not just simple rebellion but deep seated. She absolutely hates me. She makes a point of excluding me from every collection of pictures she has. She also used an ancestry class I got her into at school to look up her birth father's information and never even looked up anything on me or my side of the family. Even the big picture collage that she put together has absolutely no pictures of me.

This weekend she terrorized our house. She damaged my garage door and my bathroom sink in her rage. My son (now 8) was terrified. I had to have my parents come take him away from it all. She ran away after that, but came back that night. This morning woke up sobbing unconsolably again. I took her to the ER for severe depression, but after spending the entire day there they didn't really do anything for her. She just kept saying she can't live in my house.

So I finally decided that I need to protect my son and myself. I told her mom that I'm giving her 100% custody of our daughter. I'll still keep 50% custody of our son which was the original plan for both children. I realized that this is probably going to be the best thing for all of us (except for the stbx-wife and the boyfriend she's living with).

I cried when I made that decision but not as much as I thought I would. I'm really looking forward to breathing air that isn't full of anger. My son was excited to hear that my daughter won't be living with us anymore, but he was disappointed to hear that he still has to spend half his time staying at his mom's.

Things are not ending well with my daughter obviously. It's much more than just giving up custody. I may change my mind about this at some point but right now I don't even want her for a visit. I feel like this is the end of our relationship. I know I'll be paying child support for her still, but I don't think I'll be providing anything for her beyond that. I even told her that the outing to the circus that we'd planned will be just my son and I. I also told her not to ask me for anything.