Not sure what advice I can give but I do feel your pain. My wife and I were married 19 year and together for 22 years. I found out 10 weeks ago she had an affair. I had suspected for almost a year something was wrong. She's been talking to so many men in the last year it's crazy. She's been with 3 that I know of, could be more. It still hurts. I struggle everyday. I force myself to go to the gym, eat right, try to talk to new people. It's tough. If there is anything postitive to say about your situation it would be at least you have no kids involved. It makes for and easier split. It still devastating but at least nobody has to fight over kids. Plus you only 28. Lots of life in you fella. Finding a therapist to talk to will help. Before you know it, you'll be on your feet in no time. It just takes time. Be strong. I hope you get the support you need.

Thanks very much for your advice ripped_my_heartout, it sucks that we're the good guys and have to go through this horrendous process. It sounds like you had a rough deal as well, it sounds like we may be going through he same thing just at different stages.

We were 3 months from getting married after 10 years and she suddenly decides she wants to be with other guys, do you think she was doing this to you the whole time? I'm struggling with this question myself, I'm asking this as I think there may be something wrong with my GF, she changed completely almost overnight from affectionate to stone cold, weeks later I found out about her affair. I think a switch just flipped in her head and it scares me to think it could happen again in the future.

I'm going to speak to a therapist this week and have already been prescribed Valium for the paralysing heartache, I'm not even an emotional guy so I'm so surprised I've taken it so badly, if it's really bad I'd speak to your doc, the pills help in the short term but I know they are not the answer.

I hope you figure things out mate, we are the good guys, cheaters never prosper!

Yep it hurts, wife of 25 years had an affair with my best friend/boss. The betrayal by the 2 people I was closest too has been unbearable. I will get through as will you. Do not make the mistake of thinking you can change her. She has no desire to change. My best advise would be to seek God and have no further contact with her. She has no moral compass.

Do I think she was doing this the whole time? I'd like to think not but I guess I'll never know. Things really changed in 2016 or at least that's when I started to notice things. She was distancing herself from me and I could tell. I tried talking but she always refused. I felt like I went from being her best friend to just a piece of garbage that she threw away. It seemed 10 weeks ago that she flip the switch. It really caught me off guard. But now that I have had time to reflect on the past year she flipped it awhile ago. When I thought I may lose her, in fact she was already gone. She hates me now and I'm not sure why? I didn't cheat she did. I did everything for her but it wasn't enough. She sprained her foot real bad in the summer and I wheeled her around. Did all the chores, cooking and yes laundry, for 2 weeks. Once she was better off she went again. She was always gone. Anyways, take care of yourself and yes we are good guys, there's good women out there too. We just didn't find our match yet.

Hi, I joined the group tonight for I need support to leave my husband of 30 years, who was my first and only boy friend since I was 17. He courted me aggressively and promised to always love me and care for me like my parents did. Three times in the years before the wedding he exhibited abnormal level of anger, aggression, and manipulation. I was young, I was hurt, but I accepted his apologies and believed that he would grow up and change. I was terribly wrong. He never changed, instead, became worse. In the beginning of our marriage, he "flipped" every few months, then every holiday, then every week,..He used to be able to snap out of it by himself, or with some help. But as he "flipped" more and more often, he snapped out of it less and less both in frequency and in duration. This last time, since he "flipped" in August 2016, he has not snapped out of it and remained in his "mode", as if he is in too deep of a hole he has dug for himself and now he is completely buried in the hole. I tried everything, being nice, being mean, counseling, retreats, exorcism, ...everything. Now, with the strong recommendations of 5 Catholic priests (over the course of 15 years), countless police officers and all of my children, I am finally giving up and trying to move on for myself.

This is the first post I am writing on this site. What I would like to tell you is, even though it hurts now, please accept it gracefully as a blessing. Marriages like mine, or your potential one, should never never have been started. I wasted my entire life trying to build a happy family on the wrong ground. Thinking back, I wish something, anything, could have stopped me from marrying this man.

You are young. It will take you some time to get over with it. But please remember my post tonight; you want to celebrate this heart ache now. For it is saving you from losing your entire life's worth of happiness. My children also suffered greatly! The damage is beyond imagination. So, please rejoice, move on, and be happy! I will offer my suffering to the Lord in my prayers for you.

ohh man! ya, it definitely hurts! I have been in 2 serious relationships. The first one didn't cheat on me but she wasn't happy so she broke up with me but we remained friends. I moved on eventually and found someone worse who I recently broke up with. I suspect that she cheated on me with a co-worker. They were just friends before but later on she told me that he liked her and I knew that she shouldn't be hanging out with him but she said she saw him nothing but a friend. I trusted her but didn't want her to hangout with this guy alone and she agreed to that. Long story short...she and a bunch of co-workers and friends (guys and girls) hung out at her house and were just drinking and chilling but she didn't even tell me about this. She was always starting a fight with me and I didn't talk to her and she wasn't talking to me but I like to fix things right away. I knew she was acting shady and the next day I go to her house and find this guy's shoes at her house and she didn't even let me in. He apparently passed out and said he would leave in the morning. I knew this was bullshit but I didn't breakup with her right away. She said she would start being honest with me and would communicate with me better. She said she was going to do the same thing next week but wouldn't let him sleep over. I was still not comfortable with that one guy though because he had feelings for her. I wanted to come sleepover later but she didn't even let me into her house. It was like she was protecting his feelings over mine. That really hurt, then a few days later I just became really sick of the whole situation, even threw up. I then broke up with her and she was hurt. She then started putting me down and made me even more depressed. 3 weeks ago I cut her out completely and don't answer her calls. She stopped calling me but I still miss her but yet I hate what she did to me. I would never hurt someone like that. when I ignored her she msged me through Instagram with that co-worker kissing her on the cheek as her profile picture just so I would see it. I hate the pain that she brought to me! Just so you know, you are not alone! I know it hurts and keep talking about it as that also helps a lot. Slowly try to push to do what you love doing. I know its hard because it's hard to find meaning in almost anything but it is possible to get out of it. There is hope! I got out of this depressing stage once, I can do it again and so can you! It just takes time and effort.

You have been with her for 10 years, and for 10 years you were happy. Be thankful for that time you had and let it help you grow into who you will become.

There are many in this world who have and will never know the real happiness of love as we have. Cherish it with all that is left of your aching heart so that it will remember that feeling again when it comes.

Until then, it's alright to be sad. It's alright to hurt. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and the further you go, the less hard it will be.