You sound like a kind, caring person, and you do want him back, so perhaps though you say you set boundaries, they're not iron clad and you don't enforce them when the time comes.

Unless you are really waiting for him to realize his mistake and come back to you, you have to set these limits. Even if it comes to saying you'll call the police if they're not respected.

He's already learned he can walk all over you, so he'll test your resolve but you have to stay firm

If you are still hoping for his return, just be aware that might not happen. So please don't set yourself up for more heartache.

I was not told the truth about our relationship and he wasn't honest about where he was in life when we first met. We were children and he had and has a lot of growing up to do. It is hard because my daughter looks like his spitting image and we have to interact more than not due to having a child with special needs. his family and I don't get along and the most painful part is he went off and had a child by another woman. That was hard to swallow he gave the most intimate part of him away to someone else and now they share a different connection that was just between the two of us. It feels like some days I am ok with it and others I am torn into pieces over it. He comes to me for advice time to time, his family spill tea (Dry snitch) about things going on in his life if I want to hear it or not, He is working to get his life on track (He is one of those momma boys, she basically figuratively still has the umbilical cord attached) and we are going through a power struggle of navigating through too many cooks in the kitchen in terms of raising our daughter. I am a person that is genuine and falls deep so it is hard to rain that in with him. Lets be honest on the intimate scale he is #2 so that didn't help. I just wanted to be honest and write it out there for someone else to know. I cant talk about it to my family. They judge me and they then try to insert themselves into what is going on between the two of us. I truly feel he keeps me on the rope because he feels I will never leave him, he mistreats and verbally is abusive at times and the situation is draining but I can shake the fact I still care for him no matter what he does. I don't understand fully why I cant let go. I know the truth about the events that took place in our relationship and in the back of my mind the question is if we meet each other at a different time in life would this have worked out. I couldn't be honest with my therapist I pay $100.00 an hour so I just joined this group because maybe someone else can give me the message that will let my heart stop steering the ship. My brain says you should have left years ago and treat him the way he treats you but I cant shake that look and those eyes. It is what reeled me in, in the first place.

I feel for you, but you're going to have to find your voice and use it. Put your foot down and say no more, because it sounds like EVERYONE is interfering in your life and not respecting you.

Perhaps they honestly don't know this is bothering you. You have to tell them it's not acceptable.

Thanks dandelion. It has now been months since I wrote this post. Not in a better space sorry to say but I have placed some boundaries and was able to simply give my daughter a phone which prevented him from being able to call my phone everyday. We have resorted to going back to texting when something happens with my daughter. I can say im not ok with that but its better than having to hear his voice and then feel said. I learned I give him friendship and support but its not reciprocated in any form. I do need to have a talk with him to go over whats going on and what boundaries need to be set. We had it a few months back in regards to the co-parenting relationship but never addressed the personal relationship. A blast from my younger pass has recently come around and its nice to be able to have a chat with a male energy. It is pulling me away from daydreaming and being in the clouds all day. I truly appreciate the advice.