Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hi all.
First, let me say I am new to the board, have been reading posts for a week or so, and this is my first post. My wife of 8 years and I have recently decided to divorce. Well, more along the lines of she was ready to. Although neither of us had been really happy these last few years, and I could see little things eroding, I still thought that we had a chance and I was willing to work on things to try and get back on track, especially since we have a 3 year old, however she is past that point and feels that we have lost touch with each other so much, things are too far gone (and she could be right, I don't know, but I wasn't quite ready to admit it was at that point). Anyway, I'm doing ok for the most part, as good as can be expected anyway, but the thing that is bothering me the most right now is just the huge unknown that my life has become. I am the type of person that likes things settled and to have a good idea of what is coming down the road. And while I get that we can't truly "know" what's coming, because anything can and does happen in life, I sleep better at night when I think I know what life will be like. So right now I'm just really struggling with a month ago still thinking this was the person I'd spend the rest of my life with (even if the marriage was far from perfect, it wasn't terrible either) to just having this huge question mark not only for the immediate future but down the road and what life may be like, and it's driving me crazy. I know there is nothing I can do about it for now, and keep telling myself just to take one day at a time, but still, it gets to me at times. I'm sure there are people here who can relate, and I was just looking to get some different takes from people who have already gone through all this. Thanks for reading.
First, let me say I am new to the board, have been reading posts for a week or so, and this is my first post. My wife of 8 years and I have recently decided to divorce. Well, more along the lines of she was ready to. Although neither of us had been really happy these last few years, and I could see little things eroding, I still thought that we had a chance and I was willing to work on things to try and get back on track, especially since we have a 3 year old, however she is past that point and feels that we have lost touch with each other so much, things are too far gone (and she could be right, I don't know, but I wasn't quite ready to admit it was at that point). Anyway, I'm doing ok for the most part, as good as can be expected anyway, but the thing that is bothering me the most right now is just the huge unknown that my life has become. I am the type of person that likes things settled and to have a good idea of what is coming down the road. And while I get that we can't truly "know" what's coming, because anything can and does happen in life, I sleep better at night when I think I know what life will be like. So right now I'm just really struggling with a month ago still thinking this was the person I'd spend the rest of my life with (even if the marriage was far from perfect, it wasn't terrible either) to just having this huge question mark not only for the immediate future but down the road and what life may be like, and it's driving me crazy. I know there is nothing I can do about it for now, and keep telling myself just to take one day at a time, but still, it gets to me at times. I'm sure there are people here who can relate, and I was just looking to get some different takes from people who have already gone through all this. Thanks for reading.
It does take time and lots of support
Read up on grief and read this website
www.breakuprecoveryguide.com
Life does get better again....and in time you will create a new life for yourself
I am better in lots of ways now...19 years marriage...2 years separation
and believe I have a good future now
Is not an easy road, I crashed emotionally and financially but I've crafted a life for me and my kids. Focus on yourself and doing what makes you happy.
It does gets better, their is light at the end of the tunnel.
Welcome to the waves, here we just float on our backs and stare at the sun. :)
I feel what you are saying regarding not knowing... and as you hint at though, we never actually knew or know anyways. The unknown is difficult, but it's real.
I remember these feeligns so well, but somewhere I adapted and have come to embrace one day at a time. It's much nicer.
Cheers.
They walked me through the process and it didn't seem so bad.
As for what's down the road? Well, I guess you can imagine that a storm came in and blew up your house. All you should be worried about now is how to get your kid out safely and take the minimum amount of things you need. You don't have time to worry about how you're going to rebuild that house. For all you care, it's a total loss.
You'll worry about finding a new home later and ummm, your wife... well, she died in the storm.